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DON'T FORGET VALENTINE'S DAY

2/9/2014

HEY, GOOD LOOKIN' - WHAT YOU GOT COOKIN'? - HOW ABOUT COOKIN' SOMETHING UP WITH ME?

                                                                                    Hank Williams

It's true. I am so hungry for something, but I can't decide what I dare to try. Yesterday and today have been real challenges (it's been chemo "flushing" time again). I am having problems with anything I eat. I finally got brave and had some chicken noodle soup and a Clementine orange around 11:00. So far so good. I keep thinking of tender steak, or a nice crisp tenderloin, but stuff like that is not really good to try at this time. I buy my kids those big bags of M&Ms around each holiday. I've already picked up the Valentine-colored ones and have been eyeballing some of those. They sound so good, but I'm sure they are not the best idea in the world right now.

I hope everyone knows that Friday is Valentine's Day. Does anyone remember when we were kids, how we would have such fun getting our little Valentine cards around to exchange with our classmates? It seems everyone always checked out each envelope first to see if there was a lump in it. That meant that there was a small sucker, or a few candy hearts, or a piece of chewing gum enclosed, too. I remember one year, Sister Judy and I made up all of our cards and had them ready to take to school, but we had nothing to stick in each one for an extra treat. It was kinda embarrassing if you didn't have something to add to the package. Well, we were disappointed, but we never said anything to the folks about it. Back then, if things didn't go just the way you wanted, too bad. Live with it. I remember going to bed the night before Valentine's Day, dreading the fact that we just had plain, old cards to give, and somewhat wishing for a little miracle.

The next morning, I got up, went downstairs, and discovered we had indeed been blessed!

Lying on the kitchen table was a HUGE pile of packs of chewing gum! It seems that Dad, who worked second shift at Iowa Manufacturing, had tried to buy a pack of gum from the company vending machine the night before. When he punched the button for his brand, a whole boatload of assorted packs fell out. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do (yet I'm sure glad he did it), but he brought them all home and piled them on the table. There were enough for whole packs for each Valentine card that we were giving, but I'm pretty sure that we leaned on the conservative side and just slipped in one stick per person.

Valentine's Day is the one important holiday that Lon has never forgotten. There was one Christmas when he went out to do his shopping for me - at 6 o'clock - on Christmas Eve. I ended up with a lime-green, see-through baby doll nightgown from K-Mart. He couldn't even save himself with the excuse, "It's the thought that counts!" 'cause that would have been one butt-ugly thought. Since I always did all the shopping for the family, he didn't realize that the stores closed early on Christmas Eve. He forgot one birthday, but back-tracked really fast and took me out for a nice dinner. But Valentine's Day, he seems to be careful about. Frankly, I am to the age where I don't really think much about my birthday or even care about having a present for February 14th. So he's kinda in the safe zone from now on.

Tomorrow, we meet with Dr. B (surgeon) to find out exactly when my surgery will be. I would like it as soon as possible, but like Lon says, the longer this last chemo treatment gets to work, the smaller the tumor and the easier the removal. I'm guessing it will be in two to three weeks. My oncologist, Dr. Ghosh, is in India for the next two weeks or so, and I would like him back in time for the procedure. I am so hoping that it will be a simple lumpectomy, but Dr. B told me that if there is a sizable chunk of flesh removed (to make sure that every little speck of cancer is removed), I will probably have to have cosmetic surgery to look normal. If a breast job is needed, my insurance covers the other breast too, so as to make them match. If that happens, it may seem like putting "shiny, chromed-up cut-glass headlights" on an old jalopy car. When Betty M.'s doctor warned her that she might have a divit in her breast from the removal of her tumor, she laughed it off and said, 'It's not as though I'm planning on being a pole dancer!" That's right, Betty, my feelings exactly - only my thought was "I'm not planning on posing for the cover of the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition" so what do I care at this time of my life?



                                                              GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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OTHERS' HEALTH ISSUES

2/8/2014

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I ACCEPT REALITY AND DARE NOT QUESTION IT.

Walt Whitman

My granddaughter told me something quite alarming yesterday. She had not seen one of her friends for a week, so she called him to see what was going on. He told her that he had been diagnosed with Stage Two testicular cancer - and he's only sixteen years old! That can really make a person change their perspective of their own problems, when a kid who is just starting out in life has to face such a scary, heartbreaking situation. I have noticed that more and more people I know are dealing and suffering with some pretty major health issues, and are handling them with grace and dignity. I guess the lesson here is not to be blubbering, "Why ME? WHY ME?" 'cause it isn't just one person - it's a lot of people.

I recall that my mother went through a lot of health problems when she was quite young (we're talking twenties and thirties). I'm sure she was scared sick sometimes, thinking about handling some of crap that she went through and knowing that she had four little girls at home while she was in the hospital. She had her appendix and gall bladder removed. She had a hellacious time with her thyroid and dealing with a big goiter in her throat. During this time, her overactive thyroid pushed her into warp-speed mode. I remember her dashing around the house, putting groceries away. Uh, the purse went into the refrigerator and the milk in the cupboard. She was so wound up, she didn't realize that she wasn't acting normally. She would be up at 3:00 in the morning cleaning because she could not stop herself from constantly moving. Because her metabolism was running so fast, she could eat constantly but would lose weight rapidly. Eventually, she had her goiter removed and only a small piece of thyroid gland was left. After that, Mother made a habit of wearing really cool chunky bead necklaces to conceal the big, thick scar that she had all across the front of her neck.

When Mother got a pancreatic disease, I was in Fourth Grade. One of my classmates (who is actually a very sweet lady now) was a real little shit, and would taunt me that my mom was going to die. I sat at my desk, shaking in fear until my teacher dragged me out into the hallway and was rather matter-of-fact. "For Heaven's sake, Janene, my sister had the very same thing and she is fine!" She was making that up to calm me down and to get me to think that this was not going to be a big deal. Her no-nonsense attitude made me feel better and Mother did up being okay. I learned later that the form of problem she had was rather serious, and one out of every three people who had it did die. Scary odds.

Whenever Mother had to be hospitalized, Dad would go to visit her every night, and she would send home treats for us kids via Dad. At that time kids had to be a least fourteen years old to visit anyone in the hospital (wow) so we couldn't go to see her. Anyhoo, Candy Striper Volunteers would push gift carts from room to room, selling magazines, candy, etc. to the patients. Every day, Mom would buy four candy bars for us girls. My bar, however, always had the wrapper torn back a little bit, a small bite taken out of it, and a tiny note attached, that said, "From Mrs. Mouse." It tickled me that there was a mouse in my mama's hospital room, who was sneaking a little bite of candy bar before Mother had a chance to send it home to me.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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I'VE GOT THE "BYE-BYE BABY" BLUES

2/7/2014

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FREEDOM LIES IN BEING BOLD

Robert Frost

I'm feeling a little down. My first born baby is leaving the state and is moving to Minnesota. Never mind that he is 39 years old . . . he's still my kid. Dan got a job up north and is going to live by a town called Sleepy Eye, which is a place that was mentioned in the Little House On the Prairie books. Sister Sandy keeps thinking the name of the town is LAZY EYE!. It's going to be different with him out of the area, but he needs to do what he feels is right. I went through this (having a kid move away) in 1998, when Jenna lived in Everett, Washington, for a year. The night she left, I cried so much, that I went to work the next day with an incredibly swollen face. I had warned my co-workers ahead of time not to talk to me when I came to work the next morning, because I was afraid I would cry on the job. Well, I must have been so scary looking, they DID leave me alone! When Jen left, I put in an 800 telephone number (that's before all the cheap perks of cell phones) so she could call me every day. Our phone bill was outrageous, but it was worth it. It took me a long time to be able to go into her room, because I missed her so much it hurt. Hopefully, with age comes some control, and I won't be so emotional with Dan gone. I hate to be sexist, but it does make a difference between a man going off to a distant place by himself, and a woman who is far away and basically alone.(as far as safety is concerned).

To my friends, whom I was previously snarkily "boo-hooing" about their local weather . . . well, I take it back. It seems everyplace in this country has rotten weather, be it too dry, too cold, too snowy, or too icy. It's not just around here that is totally outrageous. My poor Sandy in Atlanta was off work three days recently because of the two inches of snow . . . and the thick layer of ice! So I won't be so snotty about how bad WE are having it

I have discovered something kinda neat every time I turn on my computer. I had tried to find a sunflower picture for the screen saver, but I only got a small photo that appears beside my name. Well, each time I get on the computer, a new beautiful, huge picture comes up of some type of flower and each time it is different. How cool! It's interesting to see what I get each day.

Did anyone happen to notice that the credit for the quote at the beginning of the blog has changed? It came to our attention that it was Ernest Hemingway that wrote it, not Ralph Waldo Emerson. ooops

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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MY BAD - I MEANT THE "OTHER" RIGHT SIDE "

2/6/2014

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WHAT YOU DO TODAY CAN IMPROVE ALL YOUR TOMORROWS.

                                                   Ralph Marston

Well, went into St. Luke's this morning and got another echocardiogram and it looks good. Remember, I was a little nervous about having to lay on my right side for the scan, and was afraid that it could set off the Virtigo again. Uh, well, I got to lay on my "other" right side which is actually my LEFT side. So everything went fine. I'm still a little dizzy, and my bones are achy, but, heck, that sounds like me most of the time anyway! Oh, the tech that did the scan told me that my blood pressure and pulse were indications that I am perfectly healthy EXCEPT for . . . yeah, except for the breast cancer. I think he realized what a slip he had made when he told me that. Oh, well.

I got the neatest message from Tina yesterday. Since I wasn't able to chat much on the post, she wrote to ME about some things she remembered about me, when she was young. It blew my mind. I guess we just don't realize what little kids are observing and taking in. Tina was always this pretty, slim-built quiet little thing with long dark hair and big eyes. She and her brothers were the nicest kids you could ever meet, but I don't think I got to talk to them too much when they were small, because I always thought that they were shy. They were usually sent off to play elsewhere, away from the adults. That makes me regret that I didn't get to know them better as children. I guess this tells us all to stop and really look around at the kids that we are with and see them as real individuals who are watching the big people, and taking notes.

Talked to Sister Sandy and found out that she had found something interesting in a closet that she had cleaned out. A former client (Sandy ran a beauty shop for several years) had given her some beautiful hand-painted porcelain  tiles as a gift, years ago. Can you guess what the design is that's painted on them??? SUNFLOWERS! I'll bet more than a few of you are thinking, "For the love of God, Janene, let the sunflower crap go!" Uh . . . no. I'm not ready to give up on the silly coincidences that keep popping up. We all know if my flower of choice had been a tulip or daisy, I would probably be finding all kinds of examples of tulips or daisies showing up in my life. But I am having fun with the sunflowers, and I'm sticking with them for a while.

Jenna says that Mike's puppies are all doing well. They have them each color-coded by different colored collars. Evidently, Alec has gotten past the stage where the babies look like rats to him, and he is enjoying having them around.

                                                                   GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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FEELING A LITTLE CRAPPY TODAY

2/5/2014

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I'M INTERESTED IN WOMEN'S HEALTH BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN. I'D BE A DARN FOOL NOT TO BE ON

MY OWN SIDE.

Maya Angelou

Sorry, not feeling the best this morning. Evidently, the Neulasta shot is doing it's job, which is to stimulate growth of white blood cells in the bone marrow. This helps fight off any infections. But it kinda aches. Also, that darn Virtigo acts like it may be coming back for some reason. I had to lay flat on my back last night, and didn't dare turn my head to the right, or else I started to get really dizzy. I have to get another echocardiogram tomorrow, and unfortunately, I have to lay on my right side when it happens.. So that may be a little interesting to see if it pushes me into the full Virtigo experience again. YUK!

Hope everyone is staying warm and safe out there.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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I'M A DIZZY BLONDE TODAY

2/4/2014

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FORGIVE, O LORD, MY LITTLE JOKES ON THEE

AND I'LL FORGIVE THY BIG JOKE ON ME.

Robert Frost

I had an interesting experience about 4:30 AM this morning. Woke up, rolled over on my right side, and the whole room started spinning. If any of you has ever had Virtigo, you know what I mean. I had a nasty spell of it about three years ago, and it took four months to get over. That time, when I woke up, it felt like I was spinning 90 miles per hour. I was literally clutching the sheets, thinking I was going to fly right off the bed. Lon was in Florida at the time, and I was alone. I really thought I was having a stroke or something. Anyhoo, this thing today subsided after a while, thank goodness, so maybe it was just a little fluke. Hope so.

Chemo went well yesterday. I couldn't get comfortable to take an nap for some reason, but fortunately I had two ladies to chat with. One is from my area (Diane) and whom I have known for quite some time. I didn't recognize her because she has short hair, and had always worn beautiful blonde hair that went all the way down her back. She told me that when it became troublesome in November of 2012, she had cut her hair short. Then when it got to the point where she was losing all of it, she went out into her yard with clippers and began to shear it off. Her husband happened to be mowing the yard and saw her. He got off and helped get the job done, both of them crying the whole time. That, people, is team work in spirit and love.

Another gal, Mary Ellen, was a real hoot! This was just her second treatment, and she had already lost all of her hair. She had on a great wig which looked just like the real stuff. Her sis-in-law was with her and they were quite a close pair. Mary Ellen seems like a really determined lady and has quite a support unit around her. Luckily, she is like me and her cancer was found at Stage One. Whoo hoo!

I am in the mood to get some house cleaning done. Diane told me she gets a boost of energy after treatments because of the steroids they pump into us. I hadn't thought of the advantages of that. (STEROIDS!?? OH, I'm feeling kinda manly right now - I think I'll go have a beer and scratch myself inappropriately). Actually, it does help for a few days to get extra stuff done in a hurry.

Thank you, Sandi F., for saying you enjoy reading what I write. I have worked on a ten-book series of fiction, about an eight-year old autistic boy (Thomas) and his family for the last four years. I have incorporated some of the things that our Alec does and says in them, and have also tried to show what special little people these kids are. I don't think people realize how incredibly smart and talented they are. I had been really gearing up trying to find an agent or publishing company to try and get it moving, but life has a way of getting in the way, and I'm a tad bit busy right now. So we will see what happens in the future.

Well, speaking of Alec, I need to go and meet him after school today. I just have to screw my head on tight so it doesn't go spinning all over the place and then, I'm off! Tah Tah

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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CHEMO #4

2/3/2014

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I DWELL IN POSSIBILITY.

                                       Emily Dickinson

It's early morning and off we go to the Ghosh Clinic. I am confident that everything will go smoothly, just like before.

I have my special water bottle filled with Jenna's special water, my Kindle (to play games on), my can of soup with crackers for my lunch, the neck pillow Jenna gave me, my special tied-fleece blanket, slippers, a granola bar, and a book to read. I put everything in my standup2cancer bag (from Jenna), which I am having the nurses and doctors sign their names on with colored Magic Markers. I am trying to figure out how to get the kitchen sink shoved in the bag, too, since it seems I take almost everything else imaginable. But I actually use everything I take, so there! :)

I plan on taking a nap again, but this time I hope I don't keep waking up to find that my mouth is hanging open. Jeeeze - how embarrassing! However, there was a man across from me snoring a lot, so I guess whatever happens at the Clinic, stays at the Clinic. Or not.

Yesterday afternoon, I was a bit bored, so I grabbed Little Ma and we went to run a few errands at Hy-Vee, Wal-Mart, and of course, the Goodwill store. On my last post, I was bemoaning about my passion for buying certain things. Well . . . I found four more picture frames that needed a good home.

(SOMEONE - PLEASE STOP ME BEFORE I SHOP AGAIN)    Ooops - did I say that out loud?

Other than that, it was a pretty decent day. I personally didn't watch the Super Bowl so I have no idea who won and I really don't care. For you football fans (MikeMikeMike) I hope your team won and you had a blast watching the halftime commercials. Darn, maybe those would have been worth seeing. Oh well, maybe some of the TV stations will be replaying them.

                                                                              GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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COLLECTOR/HOARDER (SAME DIFFERENCE)

2/2/2014

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HOPE IS SOME EXTRAORDINARY SPIRTUAL GRACE THAT GOD GIVES US TO CONTROL OUR FEARS, NOT TO OUST THEM.

                                                                                       Vincent McNabb

I have been busy in the kitchen the last few days. I've made a lemon bar for Lon (WOW! was that really lemony and sweet - I could sure taste that), then I made a pan of baked spaghetti and a batch of brownies to take out to Dad. Last night, I ended my day by baking a batch of small banana nut bread loaves. And that is when I realized what a collector I am. I only had to look around and see all the stuff I have accumulated.

You see, I love kitchen utensils and bake ware. The loaf pan that I used for the bread is actually eight little loaf sections in one pan and when I first saw it, I had to have it. I am always picking up unusual baking pans, storage containers, meat forks, spatulas, strainers, and anything to do with the kitchen. My problem is that I have a fairly small kitchen. Therefore, I do have some of my Pampered Chef stuff slid under the bed in one of the extra bedrooms. I think I got interested in the kitchen crap was when I was really into e-baying. I went to a garage sale and bought a really cool meat fork - for a dime! But it had an unusual name stamped on it and when I Googled it, I found out that it was kind of a collectable piece. I listed my fork for 99 cents and when the action ended, I had sold it for almost forty dollars. That's when I got interested in kitchen stuff and sold quite of bit of stuff for a while. Now I just buy things because I like them.

Then there is bedding. I have an attic full of complete bedding ensembles that I have used and then changed out for something new. I like to have several pillows on the bed, too. In our bedroom, I think there are seven pillows on our bed. In the pink room there are about seven or eight, but in the Pirate Room I've controlled myself a bit because it is a single bed so there is just one body pillow, one regular pillow, and two Pirate pillows. Sister Karen likes to have plenty of nice linens, too, so I guess I got that from her.

Let's see, some of the other things that I have noticed lately, that I have an over abundance of are; picture frames (same as Jenna), cloth hankies (but I really use them), lamps, and office supplies. I have a whole cupboard in my office filled with paper supplies, notebooks, journals, paper clips, gobs of everything that pertains to writing.

And let's not forget Lon's biggest gripe - my dozens of purses. I have found that, for Jenna and Cate's birthdays and Christmas, I like to give them each new purses for their collections. Yup, they are just as bad as me.

Please, don't anyone call the HOARDERS - BURIED ALIVE television show and turn me in. I try to keep my things in a manageable condition. But Lon says that if I ever got rid of all my collections, our house would probably spring up about six inches in the air from the lack of the weight of everything.

Tomorrow is Chemo Day #4 - the last one before surgery. I think the weather is going to be okay , but I hope the weather cooperates on Tuesday morning because I have to have that darn Neulasta shot and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do if we get snowed in and can't get back to the clinic. Hmmmm Maybe they'll send a filled syringe home with me and have me do it myself.

                                                                              GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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THE OLDER THE BOTTLE, THE SWEETER THE WINE

2/1/2014

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THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT AGING IS THIS: IF YOU REALLY FEEL THAT YOU WANT AN OFF-THE-SHOULDER BLOUSE AND SOME BIG BEADS AND THONG SANDALS AND A DIRNDL SKIRT AND A MAGNOLIA IN YOUR HAIR, DO IT.   EVEN IF YOU'RE WRINKLED

                                                                                                                   Maya Angelou

I am sneezing this morning, but I feel fine. Sure hope it isn't a cold coming on, because that might complicate things Monday morning with chemo. I imagine that they would still give me the treatment unless I was feverish or something more serious like that.

First off, I got to see my Abby girl yesterday. I picked her up from school, and her first response to me was "Grandma, you still have hair! My, you're holding up extremely well!" Coming from a ten-year old, I couldn't have asked for a nicer complement from anybody.


Abby and I stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home, to get some leg cramp pills. Hazel had given me some of hers to try and they really work! When I asked her what the label was marked, she said, "Leg Cramp Pills!" And yup, that's what they are labeled - LEG CRAMP PILLS- so if you are having a problem with that, that's what you look for.

When we were leaving Wal-Mart, I ran into a long-time friend, Verna. As we talked, I found out that she is raising her three little grandchildren because her beloved daughter, Angie, was killed in an accident about two years ago. Now, here is another "Steel Magnolia" woman. I'm not kidding, she is a strong and brave lady and is doing something absolutely incredible by starting over, raising young children, and is not even hesitating to do the very best job she can because she loves them and wants to honor her daughter's memory.

Talked to Nina yesterday, before she dashed off to Chicago. She is always traveling, but I'm still going to try to talk her into flying west for a long week-end one of these days. You know, I think it's sunny and warm in Vegas.

Traveling with Nina has one slight draw-back. She has really long legs, and I . . . don't. Therefore, I am always running two steps behind her on my stubby stumps, while she power strides along. Once, when we were in New York, Nina had said that she sure would like to go up in the Empire State Building. One evening, when we weren't really ready to go to bed, we went out walking - in New York City - at 10:00 at night! Actually the streets were all lit up, lots of decent looking people out and about. We walked down around the corner from our hotel, and as I was trotting behind Nina, I came across a huge stone block with carving on it, in the middle of the sidewalk. I called ahead to "The Strider" and asked if she still wanted to see the ESB. Yup, she did. I just pointed in the sky and said, "this big block says that it's right here!" Well, we did go up and see the beautiful city all lit up and what a memory that view made.

We also took a late night-time walk when we were at Niagra Falls (Canadian side). Some of our fellow travels from our tour group were going to check out a night spot, and Nina and I decided to follow them. We stayed for a little while, but then left to go back to the hotel - around 11:00 at night - in a strange city - in a different country. But with her striding along confidently, no one dared to approach us. She is definitely the adventurous one and I am her lucky side-kick.

There is one time that she had to keep up with ME. In Philadelphia, we went to a historic production in some big old neat hall. I had forgotten to turn off my cellphone, so I sat on it in case it rang during the show. When we left, I forgot to grab it. When everyone on our tour was safely on the tour bus, I suddenly remembered that I had left it behind and stood up in shock, shouting, "Oh crap, I left my phone!" The guide told me to run back and get it, but the bus was leaving in five minutes. When I dashed for the door, Nina leaped up and came with me. As we ran back to the hall (wearing thong sandals or flip-flops, if you will), I matched her step for step. I'll bet a lot of people got a chuckle out of two middle-aged women raced down the street, with shoes that were snap-snap-snapping. We got to the hall, Nina whipped out her phone, dialed my number, we followed the ringing, found my phone, snap-snap-snapped our way back to the bus and collapsed.  We get caught up in some crazy things, but we sure have fun!

Hey, maybe I'll run into town today and do a little shopping. I really do need an off-the-shoulder blouse, and yeah, some big beads would be nice. I'll have to figure out where the heck you buy a dirndl skirt, but we all know I have the thong sandals. As for the magnolia. . . I already have that in my friend, Verna.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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