Dad called me about 2:30 and told me mom was in recovery. Everything went well, she was awake and talking - seemed good. He said they got in a bit early, about 12:45 and she was in recovery by 1:25. Talked to mom and she said she felt good. She was going to go home, have some soup and lay elevated in the recliner as told. She said they gave her some pain meds, but she thought she'd be fine. I told her not to avoid using the prescription either. Better to get ahead of it, then try catching up to it from what I've read.

Anywho, she called to tell me a movie was on that I'd wanted to see and I asked how she was feeling. She kind of half laughed, half sounded ouchy. She said she was feeling it now, unlike earlier when she was hopped up right out of surgery. She was going to go recline and relax. She said it isn't that noticeable, since it's all under her skin. Is it weird that I want to see it? lol I love medical shows. I hate that this was done on my mom, but I'm kind of fascinated to see how this all works. I'm hoping she lets me take pictures to share. Maybe be able to take some of the scary parts to a less scary level for everyone. We'll see.

I have some books on the way that I think are going to be helpful - I hope anyway. If anyone has some recommendations on good books, please let me know. Not about cancer, preferably. Just good stories, plots and interesting characters. No sci-fi. I think Twilight and Stephen King is about as sci-fi as we get. 

Mom signed up for the Look Good Feel Better class. This is through the American Cancer Association. The theory is if you look good while undergoing chemo, you'll feel better. Your skin and appearance is going to change for a bit, but they provide suggestions on how to feel better by looking good, even though you may not feel so good. It's a great program from what I've read. No guests are allowed, due to respecting the privacy of the other women who may be in different stages of treatment. And the ladies all get a goody bag of cosmetics and stuff to help them get their purrty on :) Which is good, because it is advised to throw away all makeup you had before chemo and get new, due to bacteria. I'm going to invest in hand sanitizer and plant them all over mom and dad's house - and mine. And maybe purses and vehicles. I know, I know....but I'm already kind of a germaphobe...

I think I've hit a wall. it's 9:30 and I'm about whipped. I'm going to crawl into bed and catch some ZzZzZzs.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Today is port day - and mom and dad are at the hospital by now, preparing for a two hour wait. She had to be there at 11, but the procedure isn't until 1. I'm sure there's plenty to do beforehand - the nice, airy gown you get to don, the fashionable hair net and booties - oh! and the leg massagers! I like those things. If only they could just put you on a table that would massage all of the everyday aches and pains right before they give you the anesthesia for some of the best (and quickest) sleep you get out of this deal. I asked mom if she was nervous about the procedure - she isn't. Or, wasn't last night. Luckily, I get the "medical procedures don't really bother me" trait from my mom. We seem to do pretty well with these things, thank goodness. And let's keep that mentality going!

She said her echocardiogram went well on Monday - not a lot to it from the sounds of it. She said dad watched on a screen while she layed (layed? or laid? *brainfart*) however they wanted her and just tried to relax. The tech or whoever said that she had a very photogenic heart (but we all know that :)) and that things looked good. Let's continue with statements such as these, I say!

I now have a 1 1/2 inch thick binder of information I'm collecting. The 2007 and 2011 NCCN standards of care/explanation of treatment (links in the About page) (about 50-60 pgs); A fact sheet on Adjuvant and Neoadjuvant Therapy for Breast Cancer (8 pgs); a fact sheet on Targeted Cancer Therapies (10 pgs) - and then I printed off information about the chemo drugs mom will be taking. She will be taking: Trastuzumab (Herceptin) for the HER2+ protein; Docetaxel (Taxotere); Pertuzumab (Perjeta); and Pegfilgrastim (Neulasta) as the chemo agents (I remembered all of those wicked names except Pegfilgrastim, if that tells you how much I've been reading!). She also has a prescription for Dexamethasone (Decadron), which is a steroid to help prevent/lessen any allergic reactions to the aforementioned drugs that she will be given. She said she also has to go get some over the counter allergy meds (e.g. Claritin). But the whole point of mentioning these are that I have a binder full of information - already - mainly about the chemo drugs. Good lordy! Mom has two 1- 1 1/2 inch binders started on information she's received from doctors and that she's collected so far. We are apparently building a medical library of our own. Which is good, cuz there will be books and what not coming soon to help us more with all of this.

I have some concerns that I'd like to ask Dr. G about - mainly why a biopsy of some sort hasn't been done on the sentinal nodes (lymph nodes). A needle aspiration could be done, that is supposed to be fairly painless and quick, to see if there are cancer cells in the lymph nodes. Mom is considered Stage I, but everything I read puts her at Stage IIA (mainly due to HERS2+ and the size of the tumor). So, more confusion. And Dr. G is planning on doing the sentinal node biopsy AFTER the first round of chemo (the first four infusions - so, in three months) when he does the surgery to remove the tumor. Everything I read says that a test should be done before. I'm worried that doing the biopsy AFTER chemo would tend to show that there's no cancer in those little nodes - but what if there is now? The baseline is shot. I know, I know - I don't often display my oncology degree for all of you to see, but with what I'm reading, I think it's worth questioning. And I will. Just for my own peace of mind. There are things that can be skewed if the pre-treatment work isn't done properly. And I'm not knocking Dr. G at all - I just need an answer to that question so that I don't worry more than I already do that all bases are covered. 

I only have a few minutes while on break to throw this information out - but will get an update on here tonight about how she's doing. Mom, I think we should name this little device, since it's going to be a part of you for a while. Or, maybe we shouldn't - I don't want any of us getting attached to the damn thing. Ah! Perfect! Let's call it Myles! (that's my dog's name for those of you who don't know the little bastard).

Reminder to myself:

Look Good Feel Better in December
Post list of meds on About page
Get chemo bag put together this weekend
Share picture of Alec and his independent shaving (you'll love it)
Share story of talking to Alec about grandma having cancer - convo that followed regarding numbers/letters/people and colors
Share funny of song I'm going to put on mom's play list on the tablet
Post email I got today of pumpkins that look...NOT like pumpkins
There's more, but I've forgotten already!

Update later!!

I got an email from Weebly on Friday saying I should "Break out the Champagne!" and congratulating me for all of the traffic on my blog. And Mom told me she sent it out to people. So...Hi everybody!!! Apparently, the next step is to index my site....(huh??) and Make Money with Google AdSense ..... (huh??) and add Google Analytics....(huh??). 

Just got home from shopping and having lunch with madre. The original plan was to take chili I'd made out to ma and pa's, and then go to Stuff, as Alec said he "needed toys and movies." I love that he likes going to places like that - largely madre's doing. They are Goodwill and garage sale-ing buddies. He's found some pretty cool stuff over the years, quietly re-creating things from movies he's seen. His collection is pretty amazing.

I called to see if mom and dad were home - and mom said that she'd just meet me at Stuff. It's cold enough, the chili would be fine in the car. I walked out without the darn chili. Croikey! This is the second batch I've made this week, and keep telling them I will get some to them. 

BUT, we had a good time at Stuff and then went out for lunch.

I can tell I'm going to hate this toy I bought Alec at Stuff. He's loving it, therefore, it's going off every 2 seconds. He's going to be laughing like Bert n Ernie all week...you just watch.

SO - mom's appointment Friday:

I haven't really gotten all the info yet. Got some from dad, some from mom. So this part will have to be updated after I get it all.

Mom will have an echocardiogram on Monday - not sure why, but I will find out. I'm assuming it's a baseline kind of deal as I believe I read that some chemo drug can cause heart issues. *Will update*

On Wednesday, she goes in (where?) to have her port put in. Apparently chemo is really hard on your veins, and it will be easier for when she has her surgery....speaking of which....

Okay, the echo, the port, and then the plan is to start chemo on December 3rd. She will have 4 infusions of chemo once every three weeks (ending in 3 months, March-ish). She will also begin taking Herceptin, and will take this for a year. Not sure of the schedule on the Herceptin yet. *Will update* The nurse of whoever at the Center told her to plan on being there from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. I had read that the first chemo could take longer, but jeesh! Where in the breast cancer literature does it tell you to pack a lunch or choose from their extensive collection of take out menus? I was thinking 3 hours, tops - but 7? Day-ammm. Thank goodness it's only once every three weeks. I believe the Herceptin infusions are separate (I've read about them both ways, separate and at the same time of chemo), but again, need to check my info.

Then surgery to remove the tumor, radiation (during surgery? and after? how much/often/long?), then another three doses of chemo, once every three weeks. I'm not sure if she would go right into surgery after the first round of chemo - or if there's a waiting/healing/resting period first? *Will update*

I was thinking earlier while we were at Stuff and looking at hats and scarves for mom and her maybe/maybe not impending bald period - that I am SO glad she has the sense of humor she does. I think that's going to carry her a long way. We already have some plans for the blog coming up - a little, say, fashion/political/SNL-ish stuff. When we were talking about it originally, we were both laughing SO hard about the possibilities.

I am going to put together a chemo bag for mom next weekend. When originally reading about cancer, I was wondering what I could do to help mom and dad through chemo, and came across a post about things that are helpful during chemo. It very well may have been one of Ann's...as that's how I found her blog. I'm also going to load the tablet with some tunes and try to make it super easy for her to get on the internet, and have access to buying books online. Seems a whole lot easier than carrying in books, magazines, something to play music on... thinking about her long day, I better make sure and pack some snacks too!

I looked up a drug earlier that mom said she has to start taking - decadron, I believe. Decadron is a steroid, like prednisone I believe. One of the additional components of chemo. She also has to pick up some other allergy meds, like Claritin. 

I need to get the names of all the chemos she will have and anything else besides the Decadron and Claritin.

I need to put a bug in dad's ear too, that now might be a darn good time to get the washer and dryer moved upstairs like he keeps saying he wants to. 

Oh! I need recipes for soups if any of you all have good ones that aren't too rich but incorporate green veggies.

And I need to update the NCCN document that I attached. There's a more recent version from 2011, and I will post it in addition to the original document from 2007. It will be interesting to see both of them side by side and see what parts of the protocol changed in four years. I read both of them Friday night, and I know there were some differences, but I can't remember right now. I know I did feel better after reading it, as it has a very thorough explanation of Stages, grades, HER2+ and all the other lingo of cancer. 

I would like to bring awareness to something about donating to or purchasing breast cancer items in support of the breast cancer cause. I always thought that purchasing items with a pink ribbon or claiming to make donations towards breast cancer was a good cause. If I see whatever I'm looking for with the ribbon and without, I always choose the one with. But a BETTER way to really make progress in beating breast cancer is donating or purchasing in support of the funds being used for RESEARCH - not AWARENESS. I never really thought about it. Ann's blog educated me. The money you spend purchasing bracelets or shirts, soup - whatever - if you research where the funds go, a percentage, usually small and sometimes, only if so many units of the product is sold, is donated towards AWARENESS. The people who figure out how to beat and cure these things don't work in marketing; they work in labs. They are scientists. Who need funding to find out how cancer ticks in order to be able to massacre it. I have always been a Komen supporter - and I will always support the annual walk here, for personal reasons, as I will always choose the item with a pink ribbon versus the one without. But I am now a StandUp2Cancer fan, whose purpose is to raise funds for RESEARCH, not awareness. Ann spoke of another one on her blog. I will get the name and list it here. I'm a fan of that one too, whatever it may be, and any other that doesn't profit off of what my mom and our family is going through. (Update: American Cancer Association - duh!)

Oh, and one more little kicker....mom's insurance won't pay for a wig, but the policy will pay for Viagra, should see feel like she needs a little something-something during chemo. Way to go BCBS ...AND the cancer insurance. Cancer insurance won't cover the cost of a wig??? Are your friggin kidding me???? Who is in charge at these places? Apparently, someone who has never loved someone facing cancer head on and thinks a man getting a little something-something in his 70's is much more important than a woman being able to have some semblance of normalcy while poisoning her body to stay alive. Ridiculous.

Today madre finds out what the plan is from the oncologist. When does chemo start? What kind of chemo? How long for chemo? I hate that damned word already. Butttttt....I suppposed it's better to have the option of chemo than not, right?

I called mom when I got to work to boss her around like an older sister would, and I think occasionally, one of my mom's sisters does (as an older sibling is entitled to, I guess). Ask this question. Make sure to request copies of all of your medical records - we need to make a binder so that we have everything. Ask the oncologist point blank when this show is getting on the road, because it needs to. Oh, and make sure to get your clinical, long-ass actual diagnosis. I need it to look things up and be better able to apply the information to your specific cancer.

I'm wondering how this role reversal is going to work *laughing* Mom has given me permission to do what I want with this blog. When I asked if she'd seen the pictures of her trying on wigs yet, she let out a holler. Creative freedom, my ass! Just kidding! I wouldn't put something like that on here without asking her permission first. I figure those were reference photos. If I really want to post something like that, I'll give her the courtesy of doing many photos and let HER have the creative control of choosing which ones, if any, are posted. But now that I know that she knows I have the blog, and she approves, it may be easier now to get photo ops and what not. I think this situation should be documented. Maybe not to be shared with y'all in it's entirety, but for her own records. To hopefully be able to look back and say "man, that was a rough day, but look at you now, ma!"

Mom is going to call me later and let me know what gems of information she finds out today. Until then...waiting... have I ever mentioned patience is NOT my strong suit?

November 21, 2013

You know, when I was told my son had autism I had no idea just how many "angels" we would meet after being thrust onto that road - and it took me a while to realize that these people were angels to us. But, over the last 9 years, we have met so many. Most of them provide information, some are the individuals who actually work with my son, some are administrators or individuals in the school who listen to my concerns and act upon them if I think something is "off," others are parents who are in a very similar situation, or maybe one of the many excellent therapists we've been blessed to work with, and some are complete strangers who might just give us a smile during a public meltdown or who laugh when they hear some of the quirky conversations I have with my son in a store. My parents, family and friends have been the best - especially my mom. I don't know if we would be in as good of shape as we are right now without my mom's help, understanding, and ability to talk me down off the ledge at times when I got so frustrated at not knowing what to do or how to help my son. 

I think Ann is one of our angels on this road my mom is on. I can almost feel Ann wince at the term "angel" - but like it or not, sista, you are. To us and anyone who reads your blog or is lucky to correspond with you. I'm not a brownnoser who is sucking up to ride the coattails of your celebrity status, just very, very thankful that you responded to my initial email, and then to respond again, and THEN pay me the compliment that you think I'm funny. :) 

Ann gave me a great link to something that I believe will be very helpful to anyone who needs information on breast cancer. 

http://www.nch.org/medical-services/breast-center/pdf/acs_breastcancer.pdf

I will post more, as she has sent me more and also has a lot on her blog (http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com), and there are some others that I have found. But I need to figure out how to put them all together in one area. I think I'm actually typing in the "about" page, but until I run out of space or figure out how to set this up correctly, I'm-a keepin on keepin on! And, I will try to figure out how to allow comments and whatnot, in case anyone might read this. Again, just need some time to sit and figure it out - I will get there!


*******************

I think I have the actual "blog" moved to the "appropriate" place. What is it with me and authority or rules? :)

Talked to mom a bit ago. She hath discovered this blog. :) Hi, Mom. *waving* I'm telling people your personal information. On the internet. LOVE YOU!!! :) 

Okay, that was all in good fun. I DO love my mom. Very much. I've even actually started telling her that every time I talk to her too. And my dad. And the lovely man I've spent a lot of time with the last (almost) 2 years. Okay, I don't tell him every time I talk to him. But I did finally say it. I swore I wasn't going to break first, dammit lol. I truly believe you should tell people and tell them often. I'm just a hypocrite of my own belief and don't actually carry it out. I do with Alec - poor kid probably gets sick of me telling him. Anyway. I'm not sure why I never really felt the need to tell someone often (other than Alec). I guess I hoped that I knew that they knew I did. Cuz I know they do. I'm just not a super outwardly expressive person, I guess. I'd rather show it than say it? I dunno. One of those things I suppose.

Ann, I'm in October of 2013 on your blog. Dayyyyyyyamn girl. What a story. You, to me, are the epitome of "sisterhood." Sending you all good juju. ((HUGZ))

Michael hath arrived. Alec needs to go to bed. I need to move the Ronald McDonald picture and erase the other entries and I think that maybe, things are taking shape here. Just maybe. A small victory.

RIP Johnny V. We didn't end on a good note, but DID have a lot of laughs in the short time we hung out. I never wished anything bad on ya man. You were one goofy dude. 

November 18, 2013

My parents stopped by my office this afternoon before mom's appointment with the surgeon. They had some time to kill, and I had just shown mom on Saturday where the office was, so I think she wanted dad to see it. (I just started working here about 6 months ago, and they hadn't seen the place yet.) 

After her 2:30 appointment, she called me and said it was pretty good news for the most part. She said the surgeon agreed with the second oncologist's approach to treatment, and despite the tumor being bigger than previously thought, he felt comfortable with the plan. He said the tumor was 3.7 cm x 1.something x 3.1. That's more than double the size previously thought - and "technically" means she is Stage II. And, as a very wise and knowledgeable person (Ann Silberman) just told me via email today, they really don't know what size a tumor is until they actually have it out. I relayed information to mom from Ann about the use of Herceptin in HER2+ breast cancer, and mom said they were starting her on it immediately. (By the way, mom said that her HER2+ is +3, which is very high - I need to look that up too and get the full gammet of what this bastard HER2+ is all about).

As mentioned above, I received a lovely email from Ann Silberman today - it's like getting an email from a celebrity! I was thrilled. She corrected me on HER2+ and said it is a protein, not a hormone - and gave me alot of useful information. AND she told me I might want to make her blog referenced in the beginning of mine an actual link to her blog. So, I will try to do that so that any of you interested in reading Ann's story can read it. I encourage you too - this woman knows her stuff from having gone through some pretty amazing/agonizing experiences with cancer - all while keeping her sense of humor and keeping it real. Ann, I'm sorry that you have cancer (see? I pay attention!) - but I'm so grateful that you've been writing about your experience for the last four years and helping us newbies out. And I'm so grateful that you took the time to read my email and responded to me. Thank you so very, very much.

November 16, 2013

Mom said that the MRI yesterday was...not terrible, but not pleasant. My mom is a titch (haha - tit-ch) claustrophobic, but that didn't seem to be an issue. The issue was, she was on her stomach in a loud ass machine. She's been having headaches the last couple of years, usually induced by loud sounds (like, say, the sounds of slot machines whirring and squealing for hours and hours?) and these headaches make her nauseous. So she started getting one of those headaches while having the MRI, and said she got to the point that when the tech told her she had 6 1/2 more minutes, she was literally counting down the seconds. If she chucked in the machine, not only would there be a mess to clean up and she'd be embarrassed, but she'd have to start the procedure all over again. She said she didnt think she could do it, but she did. Another victory for the day.

Went wig shopping with her today. She found some really cute hairstyles that are going to look GREAT on her when that time comes. There's always hope she won't lose her hair, but in our family, we tend to have a plan A, plan B, and sometimes a plan C - okay, moreso my mom than me, but I try! :) 

While driving, we were talking about cancer, which still feels kind of taboo to talk about, and I was glad when she told me that she doesn't think about it all day - just every so often it pops up and she remembers she's part of this "club" now. We aren't joiners in our family, so being forced to join something goes against pretty much every grain in our bodies. She said it's just so surreal. She doesn't feel sick. Which is good. If it was painful and hurting her and she felt like crap already, I'd be really worried about what was going on inside of her body more than I already am. 

We ended our afternoon stopping by a friend's.. office? Store? (Stiggy, what do you call that joint??) - he had printed and framed a picture of my son with Ronald McDonald from a field trip we had taken in September. **Aha moment: look on the tag on the back of the picture for the name of his...office? Store? lol** He is a fantastic photographer - I love his perspective. It's absolutely beautiful. AND...the matting is done in yellow - my mom's favorite color. 

[I have some catching up to do, so these posts might not be in the correct order with more recent posts. My apologies. I know nothing about blogging and am winging it. I also want to mention I decided to do this after reading Ann Silberman's blog www.butdoctorihatepink.com. Thank you, Ann, for sharing your story. It has been very enlightening, and I truly admire your grace and humor that you so eloquently provide in your blog.  You are truly amazing.]

It's only been 10 days and I'm already having trouble with the details of what happened when I found out what was going on... but let me back up just a bit to cover the last ten days as best as I can.


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

My son ended up coming home from school early that day, as they thought he might be getting the flu. My mom - who I refer to often as "madre" - normally meets my son's bus after school and takes him to speech  therapy while I am at work. Knowing she wouldn't need to pick him up that day, I called her to tell her she had the afternoon off. She said she was going to a quick doctor's appointment that should only take 15 or 20 minutes, and did I want her to come to my house to take care of the kiddo so I could go back to work? Nahhhh. If he had the flu, I didn't want her to get it.

So, I end up calling her later to chit chat, as we do pretty much every day. In the middle of me talking about work or something, she just starts crying and says she needs to go. ?!?!?! what the hell just happened? I asked if everything was okay with her and dad - she said they were fine. She said she didn't want to talk about it. Ohhhhkay...so I use the tried and true method that SHE uses on me when I say that, and started asking questions. I immediately throw out an inside joke between us - unfortunately referencing cancer (we have a sick sense of humor, she and I) and she started  laughing, so I thought, okay, she's just having a rough day. Then she said that she might have some bad news, but she wasn't sure yet. Awwww shitttttt.

The quick doctor's appointment she was on her way to earlier? Was a mammogram. Apparently her second mammogram, as her original one on October 30 showed something suspicious. Oh, and she had requested the original mammogram after finding a lump. I found all this out from my dad later - she forgot to mention it. Totally understandable given the situation.

So, on November 5, 2013 she had her second mammogram. She received the results of that, which showed an irregular mass that needed to be further investigated. A biopsy was scheduled for November 7th. I had a bad feeling about this.


Thursday, November 7, 2013

Mom said the biopsy was bearable. They numbed up the area to take the biopsy from, and after that she said she felt pressure. To give you an idea, she imagined a small crochet hook being shoved in her boob. After taking three samples, they went in a fourth time and put in a metal clip to mark the area for "when they went back in." Not "if." But "when." The doctor said that the test results typically take 48 hours to receive, but they would try to expedite things so that madre wouldn't be left hanging over the weekend. At some point, my dad received a call from someone saying that an appointment was being scheduled for my mom with her regular doctor for Monday the 11th at 10:00 a.m. to get her results. Bad feeling getting worse...but dont panic until there's something to panic about, right?


Monday, November 11, 2013

Mom's getting ready to go meet with her doctor, and about 9:30 my dad calls me at work. Tells me it's breast cancer. She has appointments with a surgeon, a coordinator and an oncologist - that day. At the same time I'm talking to my dad, I get an email from mom. She led the email with "Remember in Sex and the City when Burger broke up with Carrie on a post-it note? And when Samantha told the girls she had breast cancer at Miranda's wedding?" and ended it with "...everything's going to be fine, so stay at work." She was too upset to call me herself, so she emailed - knowing I'd more than likely be sitting at my computer at work. She went to her appointment with her family doctor and got the dirty details. I talked to her at some point that night - we cried, and she told me what she knew despite being in shock. My mom is a ROCK...and for her to be crying, I knew she was scared. Which made me scared.

Okay, this is where things get really confusing to me (not to worry - I get them straightened out very soon). I believe mom told me this was the information she had received from her doctor: Stage I, non-invasive - so this was supposedly contained in a gland. Easy peasy. They aren't going to waste any time - the plan is surgery this week, a lil radiation while having surgery, then radiation for three weeks. And that should do it.

The surgeon said he wouldn't hesitate to do surgery on my mom the next day, she's in such good health.

The coordinator I didn't get alot of info about, but from what happened this morning with the hospital calling with results before mom's appointment with her doctor - who was supposed to give her those results - I hope she does a better job from here on out.

The oncologist turned things on their head. She wants to do 6 weeks of CHEMO, about 4 weeks to recover, then surgery to remove the tumor. That changes surgery from this WEEK to in three MONTHS. And chemo. Holy crap. That's a pretty big difference from what was being said this morning. What the hell?


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I end up waking up the next morning, and knew I was just going to spend the whole day crying at work and didn't think I could stomach it. Who the hell wants to be an emotional mess at work? Not moi. Annnnd...I get thinking that maybe mom should get a second opinion...just to see if a second oncologist would suggest the same course of treatment. So I call into work, take the kid to school, put on my best brave face and concentrated hard on not crying as I was feeling this all start sinking in. I drove to the office of an oncologist who is well known in our area for treating cancer, and who treated a girlfriend of mine a while back. Sadly, my friend was diagnosed at Stage IV and passed away 14 months after being diagnosed. 31 years old, three small children, a loving husband and family - and just one of the best people you could ever have the pleasure to know. She always spoke highly of him, so I guess I trusted her judgment in suggesting him to my mom. Anyway, I stop in and speak to Terri at the front desk - she tells me he will see her within a couple of days. Have her call and make an appointment, request a copy of her records from the other doctors faxed over, and they would get her in.

I won't get into all the details of the visit, but it started off shaky - emotional. Just for a few minutes. Talked to my dad first. I think I've only ever seen that man be teary eyed and/or cry once in my life. I'm pretty sure it was at his father's funeral. Today I saw it for the second time. That's unsettling. But, I instantly remind myself this is happening to him too. After 42 years together, how could it NOT be happening to him too. I talk to mom second, and a little more emotional again. Then I ask her to tell me what exactly she was told. And we look at her paperwork/pathology reports. This is where the previously thought Stage I, surgery this week and a little radiation plan gets thrown out the window. Her cancer is INVASIVE and also HER2+, which I understand to mean that proteins within my mom's body are telling the cancer cells to grow, which equals an aggressive cancer and can be treated with hormones. However, I'm reading now that the aggressive part is correct, and that hormone therapy is not as effective on this type of cancer. I'm confused. Another question to ask the doctor so I know what this means in my mom's case, exactly.

I ask mom about getting a second opinion, we talk about it then talk to my dad and decide to give it a shot. Mom called her insurance company, her family doctor, then the second oncologist and made an appointment. She called at 10:30, I think, and her appointment was at 2. Now, THAT'S pretty amazing. I like this doctor already.

I had to pick my son up from school, so I wasn't able to go with mom and dad, and they didn't ask me to, so I wasn't going to invite myself. If they want me or need me there, they'll ask. Right? I sure hope so.

The appointment went well - this doctor is of Indian descent, so was a bit hard for my mom and dad to understand at times. If you know my parents, it's a running joke about the hearing difficulties of those two, which I have to admit, is also starting to happen to me. I always tell my dad "I know to just say everything at LEAST twice, because you're going to look at me, turn your head, raise and eyebrow and "Huh?" me." This doctor, second opinion, talked to my parents for a couple of HOURS. I'm amazed at his kindness. He wants to do chemo for 5 MONTHS, to make sure mom isn't back in seeing him in five years, to do it all over again. He thinks that will kill off any outlying cells, and shrink the tumor enough to remove and then leave mom healthy to get on with the rest of her life. More information overload. Ugghhh.

However, when talking to mom later in the evening, she told me I was going to think she was crazy - but she couldn't feel the lump since leaving the oncologist's office. She even had my dad try while we were on the phone, and he couldn't feel it (and it didn't gross me out that my dad was feeling my mom up while I was on the phone with her!). Maybe it's a sign that this oncologist is a true healer? I told her to count it as a win for today - it's probably still there, but not being able to feel it? I say that's a win. Even if just for today.

Mom has an MRI scheduled for Friday, November 15th. I think this was requested by the surgeon to get a better idea of the size of the tumor (currently guessed at between 1.6 and 1.8 cm), as the size can vary in the different images I guess. Mom and dad will meet with the surgeon on Monday, November 18th to go over the MRI, and then meets again with the second oncologist on Friday the 22nd to, I believe, discuss when chemo would start.