The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong in the broken places.
Ernest Hemingway
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A BORING MORNING

1/31/2014

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A CLOUDY DAY IS NO MATCH FOR A SUNNY DISPOSITION

                                                        William Arthur Ward

Yup, it's kinda a ho-hum, nothing-much-going-on morning. I'll bet you guys that still go off to work every day would like to smack me a good one right about now. It's true - all the years you work, you imagine how wonderful it would be to sleep as late as you want, to not have any kind of deadline to meet, or not to have to schlup off down the road every morning, regardless of how bad the weather was. Well, it's not all that great. Ask any person who is retired (officially I'm not quite that old yet) and they will tell you that it is important to have something to get up in the morning for.

It's not that I don't have plenty to do. Some days are really busy, with errands to do and places to be. I have always enjoyed being a housewife and puttering around the house and yard. But if it is a dreary day outside, my ambition level is at zero. Tina was suggesting that I get scrap-booking. Well, Tina, when I quit work seven years ago, I bought a complete scrap-booking kit with all the scissors, and templates and such. I got all my loose pictures collected in one box. (Since then, I have only completed two or three pages). I have no place to lay stuff out and leave it to work on later. But seriously, maybe that is something I need to get cracking on!

I've been going through my closets, trying to get rid of stuff that I haven't worn for a while, because our storage areas are full. It's amazing that we raised two kids in this house and managed to have enough space for everything concerning four people. Now that it's just the two of us, we still have no extra place to put all of our stuff. THAT'S IT! We just have too much stuff! Duh!

I am finding that I do enjoy watching HGTV, where people are always redesigning their house, or re-doing old houses, and somehow they get all that work done in just one half hour! I also watch the cooking shows, and actually have picked up some neat ideas. Wow, I DO sound boring! Whatever.

Hey, I have found one good thing that's coming from having hellacious leg cramps (Charley Horses). My calves are becoming rock solid! Yup! You've seen those crazy commercials where people strap on some kind of belt and the electric pulses contract and release whatever muscles that are under the belt? Well, the constant extreme contraction of these darn cramps are making my calve muscles really defined. Too bad the rest of my body is still saggy, baggy grandma-style.

HAIR REPORT:  The majority of it is still hanging tight. It's not too noticeable that it is getting thinner, but then I had a lot of hair to begin with. It is kinda creepy when I sweep the floor and realize how much hair is in the dustpan. But I can still go out in public without attracting any attention. That's all good, right?

Well, I'll close now and go work on MY sunny disposition!  :)


                                                                     GOD BLESS YOU ALL


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GENTLENESS

1/30/2014

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IN A GENTLE WAY, YOU CAN SHAKE THE WORLD.

                                                          Mahatma Gandhi

THERE IS NOTHING STRONGER IN THE WORLD THAN GENTLENESS.

                                                           Han Suylin




I had to talk to my gentle little Abby the other night. Evidently no one is discussing my situation with her, and she was very worried about me. I think she pictured me lying weakly in bed, a thin, shriveled up version of my former self, perhaps even spitting up blood or something. She couldn't wrap her mind around what cancer meant has far as it happening to her Gramma "Jean". I think she was relieved to learn that things are going along well, and I am still doing the things that I have always done. It's not been that long since I've seen her so she must have thought I went downhill rapidly. LOL  I told her I will have her and Cate over for a week-end visit very soon. I like talking to the girls. They have very interesting minds and amaze me about some of the things they are thinking. I like being their grandma.

Of MY two grandmothers, Grandma Fare was an especially quiet, gentle lady, and we didn't get to see her too often. On the other hand, my Grandma Paul just lived down the road at the next farm. It took me about five minutes to walk over to her house. She was quite the boisterous woman who was big-busted, big-hearted, and laughed a "big" laugh. Something I just recently learned about Grandma Paul -- that she was the go-to person when it came to the elite families in Cedar Rapids  concerning their eggs and chickens. Yup, Grandma was the egg-and-chicken lady to the Hall family at Brucemore, and their society friends. She was extremely careful about "candle-ing" her eggs and making sure they were immaculate, and she fed her chickens something extra that made them big and meaty. One perk us grandkids got, was that with every bag of chicken feed, there was a small packet enclosed which held a real "diamond" ring. Each of us granddaughters couldn't wait for our turn to get that big, beautiful, gaudy, fake ring. What fun! Another good thing was that the feed bags were made out of a coarse cotton, and Grandma would carefully select  bags with the same design of fabric, so Mother and Aunt Kate would have enough of the same pattern to sew up shorts and tops for us girls. Talk about recycling! (Gosh, just re-reading that last bit, makes me realize how OLD I really am!)

Anyhoo, to finish the chicken-and-egg tale, Grandma would squirrel away her earnings from the poultry business all year long. THEN, before Christmas, she would have Aunt Kate take her to Armstrong's (a big department store that used to be downtown in Cedar Rapids, and was considered one of the better stores to shop at). The salespeople would see Grandma coming and set out a comfortable, overstuffed chair. There she would sit, with her dress hat and gloves on, and direct everyone to bring her selections to look at, and to purchase for the entire family. She was shopping for 60+ people and she liked to buy nice things, so the salesclerks really earned their money the day Mrs. Paul came to town.

To sum it up, Grandma Paul was boisterous, fun, hard working, and yet so very gentle in so many thoughtful ways. It guess there is more than one form of "gentleness".

NOTE: Some of my friends say that they like to read the blog as they drink their morning coffee. Sometimes I take my time writing this, so sorry if you've already drank your java! (I mean YOU, Betty C. and Sandy R.) I also understand that some others of you check it out in the morning - Tina, Sister Sandy, even Trevor's mom (sorry, I can't recall your name at the moment). Have a great day and stay warm.

                                                                  GOD BLESS YOU ALL 




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I MAKE PEOPLE SICK

1/29/2014

1 Comment

 

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP.

                                               Winston Churchill

I had interesting messages from two people yesterday, concerning the fact that they are sick because of me. Not that I am contagious or anything, but they both seem to think that they are taking on illnesses to keep me from being ill. Huh? I'll tell you about Person #1 and Person #2. Since I don't want to blab their real names and perhaps embarrass them, I will call them by these aliases.

First off, Person #1. (whom I have traveled with a lot) has had the unfortunate luck of having me con her into having a hot dog for lunch occasionally, because I personally like them very much. She hates them, but has gone along with me to be polite. She says hot dogs are made up of strange animal parts (lips and ass-holes  . . .  pardon my French). Well, here's the message I got from Person #1, and I hope the information I've just told you will explain the "hot dog" part.

     YOU KNOW, I HAVE HAD DIARRHEA SINCE YOU STARTED THIS CHEMO, MY HAIR SEEMS TO BE THINNING DOWN, AND WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD LEG CRAMPS IN THE NIGHT, I THOUGHT "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING -- I HAVE, TOO!"  YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, BUT TONIGHT WHEN I WAS WATCHING TV AND SAW SOMEONE EATING A HOT DOG AND THOUGHT "WOW! THAT LOOKS GOOD!", I THOUGHT OK, JANENE, THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!

She cracks me up!  :))))

Person #2 called me today and told me she was sick as a dog -- possibly some kind of intestinal virus and we all know what kind of symptoms go with that. She, too, felt that she was ill because perhaps that was keeping me safe and healthy, while she takes on the sick part and suffers through side-effects that I am SUPPOSED to be having.

They are both of the mind-set that it is kind of a sympathetic form of illness. How many times have we heard stories of men who gain weight, get very emotional, have tender chests, etc. when their wives are pregnant? It's because they are being sympathetic to someone close to them.

As amusing as Person #1 and Person #2 have been, I don't want them to be feeling crummy, and hope they both get well soon. I'll keep tabs on both of you - - -  from a distance, okay?

                                                                   GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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PLACES FROM THE PAST

1/28/2014

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START WHERE YOU ARE.

USE WHAT YOU HAVE.

DO WHAT YOU CAN.

                                    Arthur Ashe




I recently mentioned something about buying a chest at an auction at the Legion Hall. As insignificant as that building is, in the whole scheme of my life, I started thinking about how much time I have actually spent there.                                                                                                                                             

Is there some place that has been a constant in your life? I'll bet a lot of people would say that Rockwood's Store in Alburnett, was a major part of their lives. Hanging out after football practice, or school plays, or any other extra-curricular thing. And everyone always went to "Bucky's" to use his wall phone to call home and tell someone that you where done and needed a ride home. Carl "Bucky" Rockwood was one of the most gentle, kind, friendly people that anyone could have ever met. I remember one incident that occurred after a late softball practice (this happened before I got conked in the head and quit,  and also during that period of time when we had no telephone out on the farm). The unimaginable thing happened! Mother forgot me! Since I wasn't able to call her to come get me, I was stuck.  As it got later and later, and the town rolled up the street for the night (that's another old person's saying meaning everyone was at home), Carl closed the store and then proceeded to sit with me on the old, long wood bench he had out front. I'm sure he didn't know what in the world to do with me, so he just kept talking about general things, as though it was the most ordinary thing in the world. About 9:30 Mother came driving up Main Street in a panic. She had been getting ready for bed, and had suddenly remembered me. I'm sure it was very much a "KEVIN!!!" moment. I'll never forget Carl's patience and kindness, but, oh boy, he must have been relieved when I finally went home.

But back to the Legion Hall. My relationship with the hall began when I was in high school. When we found out that the hall had a Teen Hop once a month, with DAVE CARR, a DJ from Radio Station 1450, it was the place to be.  I'm sure it was worth Dave's time to show up, charge each kid 50 cents, and play some records that he got for free from the station. A hundred kids made a nice $50 piece of change for him on the side. Yes, young ones, that was a decent amount of money back then. Remember that I started out clearing $60 PER WEEK at my first job. The dance was fun, but none of the boys really danced with me and my friends, so we danced with each other. The exception was my friend, Jodi, who had a big brother who had  lots of friends, and since they all knew her from hanging with her brother, they would ask her to dance. I had no big brother, so my partners were usually girls - but only in fast dances!

The Legion Hall was the place where Lon and I had our wedding reception after the church reception. When I think back about it, it sure was a dreary, boring little get-together. Back then, we really didn't have wedding dances, so there was no music - just drinking. whoopee.  I've had many occasions to be there for funeral receptions (Lon's grandfather, grandmother, sister, friend Kerry Schutzman, other friends and family), wedding receptions, birthday parties, auctions, and town get-togethers.

A few years back, Lon and I had the chance to purchase some land just across the fence from the Legion Hall. When I go for walks around that land (nice and flat and easy to maneuver), I can see the hall across the fence. Back in my Teen Hop days, I would have never imagined that some day, I would walk our land, and remember the fun times from all those years ago  -  in that very hall that is just across the fence.

Please remember that the things I write on this blog are considered FACT, FICTION, NEWS, and NONSENSE. I think today was just rambling.




                                                                               GOD BLESS YOU ALL





















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A LITTLE  OF THIS, A LITTLE OF THAT

1/27/2014

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BELIEVE YOU CAN AND YOU'RE HALFWAY THERE.

                                                                    Theodore Roosevelt

NOTE: I messed up on Saturday and posted two posts instead of just one. Sister Sandy missed the first one published on Saturday (SIMPLY OUTRAGEOUS), and told me about it,  so you can just back-up and check it out if you want.

Not much happening lately so I'm going to mention a little of this and a little of that. It's very cold here, but all you locals know that. (Jodi in California is still enjoying 70 degree weather and Betty C. in Missouri, says they average 50's this time of year - BOO-HOO). The grandkids' schools were cancelled today due to predicted wind chill danger (minus 45 degrees).

Talked to Jenna last night and she and Mike had their hands full (literally) delivering puppies from Mike's dog. Jen said Alec wandered into the garage right in the middle of things, and she asked if he knew what she was holding. "His answer was, "It's a RAT!" When she explained that it was a new born baby puppy, he wasn't  impressed. He did come back later when more puppies were being born, but it still wasn't his thing. I'm with you, Alec, I would have stayed as far away as possible!

Saturday night and Sunday morning, I had some crazy-big Charlie Horse cramps in my feet and legs. I can handle your usual leg cramps, but these twisted my legs so badly, that Lon woke up, jumped up, and began rubbing my legs. Then he had me drink a small amount of pickle juice, and by golly, that really helped a lot!

Finally got to go to church yesterday, (I didn't make it last week). The weather was cold and windy, so the number of people who came was somewhat small. The highway in the curve of the road, right before I get to our church, was totally covered in blown snow, and I couldn't even tell where the road's edge was and where the ditch started. Sister Sandy called me last night and said that Dad was driving home to the farm (after dark) and ran off the road and slid into a ditch off the Center-Point/Central City road. He was okay, but his truck was stuck. Somebody came along and helped him get out of the truck. Then Dad called nephew Mark, and he came and took Dad and his groceries home. They are probably having the truck pulled out today. Thank goodness he didn't get hurt. That is the main thing!

If you have to go somewhere today, PLEASE be careful.

Hey, I will have to think up some names for Mike's new puppies!! Let's see: SNOWBALL, WHITE-OUT, CHRYSTAL, CHILLY, IGLOO, and SIMON (I've always liked the name, Simon).

                                                                       GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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A PLACE IN THE PATTERN

1/25/2014

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EVERY PIECE OF THE UNIVERSE, EVEN THE TINIEST LITTLE SNOW CRYSTAL, MATTERS SOMEHOW.

I HAVE A PLACE IN THE PATTERN, AND SO DO YOU.

                                                                                                  T.A. Barron




I like that - a place in the pattern. So true for all of us.

Hey, Jenna mentioned a while back, about considering getting a team around for the October Cancer Walk held in Cedar Rapids. As we talked about before in this blog, we have participated in the walks in the  past for one of her friends, who has unfortunately passed away from breast cancer.

I am not sure if I just want to walk, or to actually con a bunch of my friends into walking their little tushies off for a good cause, as a team. Sandi F. sent me a link to the song "OVERCOMER" by Mandisa (Google it and watch it on YouTube), which I really love. Would anyone like to be charter members of the OVERCOMER CLUB?  Or we could of course wear pink T-shirts and go as the PINK LADIES (a take-off of the girls' club from the movie GREASE and pink being the official color for  the breast cancer organization). One name I don't think would be too cheery is CANCER DANCERS, but to tell you the truth, I did write down a few thoughts about this when I was first diagnosed and was going through a  very dark, sad period and I'll share some of it with you.

                                                         WHAT'S IN A NAME?. . . PLENTY!




When an Indian tribe observed Lieutenant John Dunbar frolicking with a wolf out on the prairie, they dubbed him DANCES WITH WOLVES. If he had been spotted dashing away from  the pack, screaming like a little girl, could he have possibly been stuck with the title STUPID MONGREL RUNS WITH TAIL BETWEEN LEGS? Nicknames can be very descriptive.

When I first learned that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (breast cancer) the words Cancer Dancer popped into my mind. At first, those two words shocked me. What was I thinking? - it made the situation sound as if I was going to be a willing partner in a very serious relationship. It gave the impression that I would be slithering seductively around a dark figure, waving a perfumed scarf under its nose, doing my best to get its full attention.  Uh . . .  nope!

My thoughts were more along the lines of anger and sadness. Cancer had crashed my party and had come to dance! Okay - if dancing was required, I would dance - oh, boy, would I dance! How about if we start with the KILL-THE-BIG-C STOMP? I think so.

Get ready to rock and roll, kids.

                                                                              * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *




At this point of the game, looking back, I can see what a fantastic dance ensemble that has come to my rescue and I appreciate each and every one who has helped me.  Thanks. 

                                                                          GOD BLESS YOU ALL








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SIMPLY OUTRAGEOUS

1/25/2014

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WARNING - HUMOR MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR ILLNESS.

                                                                                   Unknown

I am so completely exasperated, I could just spit nails. (that's an old person's saying, kids). The most upsetting thing has happened. Jenna mentioned in an earlier post that my ability to taste chocolate has begun to disappear. Well, folks, it's gone - kaput - nonexistent - faded away.

How in the world is a chocoholic supposed to survive? I stopped at Fareway last evening and frantically scoured the shelves, looking for some form of chocolate that might satisfy my craving. I ended up buying a small bag of chocolate-covered raisons. Yummm, right? BLETCH! Those tasty little morsels are no longer on my must-have list. They tasted like waxy fake stale chocolate. Fortunately, I had the foresight to buy a box of Jello Chocolate pudding and cooked up a batch when I got home. Now, there is NO way that pudding can disappoint.

Uh, yup, disappointment. I even put some whipped cream on top. Nothing.

Does anyone know where Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory is? Perhaps I can locate it with my GPS or maybe just Google it. I believe that's where there is a river full of chocolate syrup (or was it chocolate milk?) I'll just take a little dip in it and absorb all that goodness through my pores.

Please remember me and my handicap, the next time you lick that chocolate ice cream cone, or nibble on that Hershey's candy bar (plain or almond), or even take your time enjoying that Tootsie Roll pop.

Enjoy every minute of it, and remember that sometimes it's the simple things in life that can be the best.

                                                                       GOD BLESS YOU ALL



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THIS TOO SHALL PASS . . .                (I'M TALKING ABOUT WINTER!!)

1/24/2014

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  LIFE IS NOT MEASURED BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE, 

BUT BY THE MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY.

                                                                                Maya Angelou                              

Winter is a lovely season (yeah, right), but I, for one, am ready for it to move on out. It was nice to have a white Christmas, but that's about the extent of my liking snow. And don't even talk to me about ice.

When we go to Florida, people tell us that it must be nice to get away from the bad weather. What they forget is that we have left loved ones back in Iowa and we worry about them getting around safely.

I've decided I need a project. Since I am home a lot (hate to go shopping), I usually try and make some little change here or there. Two years ago, when Lon went south and I stayed home, I talked Dan into putting up a new ceiling fan/light in our bedroom. Then I bought new bedding and new curtains. Well, the walls didn't look so fresh, so of course there had to be new paint.

One year, when Lon came home, I had changed paint in two other rooms and redid our smallest bedroom into the "Pirate Room" for Alec to sleep in, (paint, bedding, curtains, wall decorations pirate toybox).

So you see, winter is my time to have a project to keep my hands busy.  I have bookwork up the kazoo to do, and writing projects that are waiting. But I want something fun. My kitchen needs re-wallpapering. AHA! The only problem there is that these days, it's hard to find a place to buy wallpaper, and so few places offer it to order. And my eyesight has deteriorated over the years, so hanging the stuff correctly might be a problem.

I have had fun refinishing a few pieces of furniture in the past. The chest of drawers in the Pirate Room was won at an auction at the Legion Hall for $4. it was covered with red and black paint, but after stripping it, it stained up beautifully. I was working on a child's fold down desk/bookcase but it got too chilly to work on out on the patio, so that will have to wait until spring.

Got an interesting comment from niece, Tina. She said she was going through a drawer and found two packets of sunflower seeds. What a hoot! The Sunflower Movement is on!  It's everywhere . . . it's everywhere!

P.S. I'm in a much better mood today.

                                                                                   GOD BLESS YOU ALL












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SOME HARD TRUTHS

1/23/2014

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LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE YOU'RE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS.

                                                                            John Lennon




Are any of you thinking that this whole experience that I'm going through is a piece of cake? That is the impression I may be giving people. I'm a little confused. I am open to anyone's opinion of my words on this blog. It seems that my posts have gotten sugary sweet and evidently I'm making it sound like I am glossing over the hard truths. 

Well, I'm not sure if you are interested but here's some of the facts that I don't bother to mention. . . every time I comb or gently brush my hair, my scalp burns. It's like if your scalp was very sunburned. Weird. I have to be very careful not to bump my toes into anything because the edges of  my toenails feel like razorblades. If it weren't for the Imodium, I would definitely be housebound. I wake up constantly in the night, and disturbing dreams are pretty much expected when I go to bed. I am edgy and a little more impatient than I have ever been. Just ask my husband. He tells me that I can be snappish once in a while. I  tire easily, and find myself wrapping up in a nice, warm blanket at some point of every day. I go through a series of chills running through my body over and over again, day or night. My skin is getting so dry, sometimes it hurts to be touched.

These are just of a few of the symptoms that are a result of the chemo. It happens. It's just a fact that I can't get around. It's something that I deal with and don't really think about.  

The person who thought I was getting saccharin sweet, was teasing me and has nothing but the most sincere good wishes for me. Perhaps I need to be more honest, tough, and gritty when it comes to describing the day to day stuff that's happening. And it is probably true that I have described so many of the good things happening to me, and neglected to tell some of the true facts about what it feels like to have cancer. None of this is fun, but it IS do-able. There is no other choice than to dig down deep and get on getting-on.


The last chemo before surgery is February 3rd, and I'm not even thinking about that yet. It does no good to stew about something that is going to help save my life. It is not a scary thing to have to go through and I don't want people to think you have to been super brave to go through it. I am finding lots of people who are having similar experiences with infusions and they don't make a big deal about it.

(Raise you hand if you think that Little Miss Sunshine is in a pissy mood.) Well, MY hand's in the air.                                

The quote from John Lennon has always been one of my favorites. It's true - I was making far different plans than what I got stuck with, but it's  part of life. I'll just have to make a few adjustments in my future plans.




                                                                              GOD BLESS YOU ALL













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A "PANERA " KIND OF MORNING

1/22/2014

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IF YOU WANT THE RAINBOW,

YOU GOTTA PUT UP WITH THE RAIN.

                                                       Dolly Parton

I am sitting here, munching on a delicious, warm (mmmmm) Panera bagel. Heavenly breakfast!

Yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a long time. Miss Betty came to see me and, boy, did we have a great talk-fest. I am so proud of all the things that she has accomplished but her family is definitely the ultimate prize in her life. It was so good to see her (but unfortunately, I will have to stand her next to Ronnie M. and smack them BOTH!, 'cause she's as young looking as ever, just like him.)

Betty not only came to visit and show support for me, but she came loaded down with goodies. That girl brought a HUGE assortment of delicious Panera bagels, spreads, and three kinds of soup for our lunch. NICE! Then she proceeded to give me a gift bag with the neatest large water bottle (Betty is the one who is reinforcing my drinking water all the time) with sunflowers designed all over the outside. What a surprise and a very nice treat.

I hope everyone has someone in their lives that makes everything feel a little better and more sane. I'm finding some really amazing "someones" in mine.

NOTE: A while back, I posted about Jenna starting the "sunflower movement" when she put those beautiful flowers at the top of this blog. and I wondered what interesting twists that the sunflowers would take during this time. I need to acknowledge that Nina dropped off a gorgeous cutting board covered with a sunflower motif, because she said when she saw it, it screamed "JANENE". It was so thoughtful and so pretty. I noticed when I flipped through my new 2014 calendar that Little Ma gave me, that the September page, which happens to be Jenna's birth month, is covered with sunflowers. I like it when I flip through a magazine and see them pictured, and there is a  TV commercial that shows a beautiful display of my flowers, and that makes me smile. I am already trying to figure out where I am going to plant LOTS of sunflowers somewhere in our yard this spring. Hopefully, more than six plants will come up this time.


                                                                       GOD BLESS YOU ALL

 

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    Janene...

    ... was diagnosed with breast cancer on November 11, 2013. This is a place for all of the people who love and care about her to get the information about her treatment and her personal experience of kicking cancer's ass, (sometimes from her daughter's perspective). It's hard to stand by and not be able to do anything to help. Writing gives my mom an outlet and allows both of us to share information during this time. Therefore, we blog :) 

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