THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF CHANGE IS TO PLUNGE INTO IT, MOVE WITH IT, AND JOIN THE DANCE.

                                                                                     Alan Watts


Little Ma is still holding steady but has almost reached the end of her rope.  She is tired, tired, tired.  On Saturday, Lon carried her out to our car and took her up to the Thanksgiving dinner.  Tina has a lovely daybed in her Four Seasons room off the dining room, so Hazel was pretty comfortable on that. She slept, and visited, and went home exhausted, but content that she had gotten to see the family.  However, Sunday morning, she fell out of bed and tore some of the fragile skin on her arm, bumped her head pretty good and got a carpet burn on her arm.  Her back was really hurting (which is understandable considering that she took quite a tumble) but we are amazed that she didn't break any bones.  Lon and I went around town yesterday, trying to find an adult size safety bed-rail gate thingy to attach to her bed. None of what we could find seemed to work, so we may have to go to the medical supply place today.


Since I have been going without Roschelle (my wig), I have been getting some double-take looks.  Since there is a bit of curl to my hair now, I have been trying to fluff it up a bit so it actually looks like it has some kind of style to it.  Hairdresser niece Holly said, that with a little bit of product, she could make it look like I had more hair than I actually do. Now, it's the silvery grayish white color that is depressing.  This crappy situation has really aged me in so many ways, but, whatever.  But if it gets to the point that people think that Lon and I are son and mother, I'm getting some coloring done!!!'


With everything that is going on, I have been trying to keep my hand in writing my kids' stories.  I am working on one called 'Seventy-three Pairs of Green Pants".  I have finally finished editing "Good Night, Mr. Monkey", and submitted a short story to the Writer's Digest.  WD have a contest every two months, where they challenge people to write a 750-word or less story about a picture they show in their magazine, and you have to make up a story to match it.  Or, they give you a single sentence and you have to use it in your work.  The one that was presented for the latest challenge was "I knew it was a mistake the moment it was done." They then have a panel of judges who narrow it down to five final submissions and then put them on their website for readers to vote on to find the winner.  I have no chance in heck, but I couldn't resist.  Mine was (unfortunately) about being a serial chemo . . . um . . .  farter.  YES, I said CHEMO FARTER!  What the heck, it made me laugh and they encourage humorous or outside-the-box formats. There is no prize other than having your story printed in their magazine, which is still pretty huge. 


Dan and Tammy gave me a list of Christmas present ideas, so I have got it made in the shade for shopping for their family this holiday.  Easey peasey.  I am trying to figure out where I am going to put my tree this year.  Since we bought new living room furniture, we moved the old couch and chair downstairs to the family room.  I sold my leather loveseats, because they weren't too comfortable, but there is just NOT quite enough space for both the old pieces to fit in comfortably.  Lon is the type that he never wants to get rid of anything, so now the family room looks like a furniture floor room.  Ey Yi Yi!! 


Here's a quick pic of the sprouts fizzing up.  I find that I have to wet my head down every morning or else I have a severe bed-head look.  This is what it looks like after getting it wet.  

                                                GOD BLESS YOU ALL

I'M BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN.
                                                     Gene Autrey, Country Western singing pioneer

Hi.  I've come out of hiding. Actually, technology knocked me for a loop when my computer crapped out on me, but everything is much better now.

I just want you all to know that my Jenna is worth every single cent it cost to raise her.  She came out to my house after work last evening and put all my stuff back into my computer.  I really appreciate it, dear, but you know I will probably have to call you if I can't figure out how to get to something I need. You always had to lead me by the hand when it comes to anything involving technology.  Everything is a little different set-up than before. I am also very grateful that she kept things going here on the blog. I was stunned to see how many people were checking in every day to see if I had got my act together again.  Thanks!

Speaking of my darling daughter, I am a little concerned that she has . . . well . . . joined the "white conspiracy".  Remember when I talked about how many people, including several family members, who have started driving white vehicles --- almost like they are in a secret club?  Well, guess who just bought a new car and it just happens to be WHITE!!?  She denies any knowledge of such a club, so that just goes to show you how underground-secretive they are.  LOL

Health wise, I am doing great.  I have no aches (except for a little arthritis in my pointy finger), no sicky feeling, no nothing.  The hair continues to slowly come back, and there is even a bit of a curl to it when its wet, and a slight wave when its dry.  I have never had that happen before unless I had a permanent.  WHOOWHOO!   However, some of the lasting effects from chemo (I'm assuming) are:  hearing loss, eyesight is not the greatest, and lots of dizziness.  Or, old-age has just slammed me but good the past few months.  I am having a problem with dry skin, which lots of people are going through this time of year.  I have been using a product called Ocean Potion, that I bought this summer.  I have a big pump bottle of it in the bathroom, and have been applying it liberally onto my dry, cracked hands.  Then I remembered that I had bought it to put on my legs and arms because it moisturizes AND somewhat tans your skin and I wanted some  tan coloring for when I wore capris and sleeveless shirts.  SOOOOO, if you don't want brown hands on white arms this winter, you might want to pass on this product at this time.

Alec has been making huge strides in his speech, communication, and interaction with others.  Jenna has worked seriously hard on providing him a gluten-free diet and, folks, if you have a loved one who has autism, try it.  Just the last few years, gluten-free products have become more accessible and that makes it easier to change a person's diet.  The stuff is expensive, but using it, plus all of his speech therapy that he has gone to for the last eleven years(?) is paying off. His artwork is getting more detailed and is actually kinda amazing.

Although I don't get to see my girls much, they are doing quite well.  The whole family (on Lon's side) is having a Thanksgiving dinner at niece Tina's, and Abby will be able to come.  Cate is working the Iowa football game with some kids from school, to earn money for band, so we probably won't get to see her.

I slipped away into town the other day, and actually got several Christmas gifts bought.  It is not going to be a huge Christmas, because I have found out this year, that so much of that is just . . .  stuff.  There is so much more that is really important, like just being together and having a laugh or two. Still, it is fun to find stuff that you hope your loved ones will enjoy.  At Christmas a year or two ago, Jenna bought Cate one of those knit hats that are shaped like an animal.  Her's is a sock monkey, with the long sides hanging down.  She and her friends from school named it "Jeffrey".  Abby decided she wants a knit hat similar to "Jeffrey", but she is going to name her's "Gregory".  Where do these kids get their imagination??????  Anyhoo, I guess we will have to go on a "Gregory" hunt.

Now some not-so-good news.  Our Little Ma was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer and is in pretty rough shape.  She is bravely facing each day, with very little complaints about pain, but we know she is not feeling at all well.  She has lost a huge amount of weight, and she had very little to begin with. Zonna, Nina, and Lon are spending a lot of time with her, and she has had lots of visitors.  The other day, Nina and I began going through her storage cupboards and bringing down all her beautiful, antique glassware.  We washed it up, and showed it to Little Ma, and she told us the story behind each piece.  Then, she began to sort out special items that she wanted each of us girls to have.  I know she appreciates the gift of time that she is being allowed, to get her things in order, and that she is happy that certain things are being passed on to the ones that will be caretakers of the things that have always been special to her. Still, it is very daunting for anyone to know that their end is near.  She is truly living day-to-day.  But with such dignity.

                                                                   GOD BLESS YOU ALL







                                           

I thought Madre's computer was going to be fixed yesterday, but either she got too busy to go pick it up, or she just didn't have time to start sharing all the stuff she's been chomping at the bit to write about...so I thought I would put a little blurb up to try and tide you all over.

It was a year ago on Tuesday that Madre received her official diagnosis. A whole year ago already. And I must say, a year ago, I was not nearly as calm and assured as I am this year. She did SO good with chemo, her surgeries, her hair loss and all the other side effects. If she ever had anything other than a positive attitude about what she was going through, I never saw or heard it. Luckily, we have a pretty twisted sense of humor, and we did rely on that quite a bit. 

Mom and I were talking last night..? and she said she just KNOWS that once she finishes her Herceptin infusions (February-ish?) that she will be DONE DONE with this. It will have been a blip on her radar of life. She has no doubt that this was likely triggered by her cell phone being placed in her bra - AGAIN, GET THE PHONES OUT OF THE BRAS, LADIES!!! My girlfriend came to visit a couple of weekends ago, and hands full carrying things into the house, she did it. All I had to do was give her a look, and she whipped that sucker out immediately and said "I JUST put it in there because my hands were full!" I guess you ladies who have some cleavage might have a hard time breaking that habit...ladies who are not well endowed, such as myself, would look pretty odd with a big rectangular object sticking out of the gap in our bra that no boobs fill....but anyway...

I absolutely love Mom's hair right now. Granted, she's not a short hair person and never has been, but it is pretty cute, if I do say so myself. I know she'll feel better once it gets longer and she looks more like she used to. I have noticed she's not wearing her wigs all the time now, and is daring to go out with her own hair. So proud of her.

Anyway, I really don't know if Mom would have done the same, any better, or worse had she not been able to write about her daily experiences while going through this, or having her friends who are near and far to be able to communicate with. The power of prayer is pretty amazing, and I think having people around you to support you, lift you up, let you vent, and keep your laughing is a huge part of recovery from ANY type of disease/disorder/event that might otherwise overshadow every moment. Regardless, I again thank all of you - known and unknown to us personally - for your support and helping Mom through this.

It is trying to snow in Iowa....it's way too early for this. I keep trying to talk Mom and Dad into relocating somewhere warm with me and Alec, but to no avail. Maybe someday..*sigh* Until then, I will remain here, ever cold and with layers of clothing on. 

I'm happy to report Alec's hair is growing back - and the trimmer and clippers are hidden. What a shock that was to my system. The little twerp!

There has been quite a lot going on, but I'm going to let Madre tell you all about it when she wants to. Hopefully it will be soon. In fact, I will call her and remind her to go pick up her computer so she can get back online! (It was a virus - when she took her computer in, the store had been open 2 hours and the person behind the counter told her she was the 6th or 7th person to come in with this issue since they opened...).

Know she misses you all and will probably have lots to say when she gets back...until then....

GOD BLESS YOU ALL :)

Jenna

and Alec's....hairless head...