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FELLING MUUUUCH BETTER

3/29/2014

PROBLEMS ARE NOT STOP SIGNS. THEY ARE GUIDELINES.

                                                                       Robert H. Schuller

Good morning, all. It's 6 AM, and I have been awake for a while, so I thought I would just go ahead and get up. My stomach was growling (the last time I ate was around five o-clock yesterday evening) so thought I would have some cereal, until I read the label on my first med of the day. It says not to eat for 30 minutes, so I'll have to wait a bit.

Wednesday, when I went in for my "after-chemo" shot, I was talking to a lady who was having an infusion. She told me she worked at Jackson Elementary as a teacher for the autism pupils and remembered Alec quite well as the little guy who always wanted to be on the computer, and that she thought  he was a real nice kid. She has had the very same cancer as I had, but unfortunately the expanders did not go well for her. She suffered through four infections until they just took them out and she is kinda deformed now, but like she said "I'm still here! I'm alive!" That's the ultimate goal when you're playing this kind of crappy game. She also told me she lost all of her hair after only 14 days after her first chemo. So, again I am so thankful that I lasted as long as I did. I still have about 25% left, but I wear Roschelle (wig) or a scarf. I'm kinda to the point where I look like one of those characters in a Wes Craven comedy horror film. You know the kind - where there is a crazy woman locked up in an old mansion and has hair that's thin and wispy and sticks out all over her head? Uh  huh, that's me! (forget the "mansion" part, though).

One of the people I went to school with that goes to Ghosh Clinic too, has some form of blood cancer. She has had quite a set-back since last I saw her. During one of the February snowstorms, she had to cancel her treatment because they were snowed in north of Alburnett. Soon , she collapsed and stopped breathing. Her poor husband called 911 and had to have a big plow truck make it out to them, so she could get to the hospital. Evidently her Power Port had gotten infected and was really doing a nasty job on her. The surgeon took out the bad one and replaced it with one on the other side of her chest. The very best wishes, Ellen.

Yesterday, I met Alec at his house and then we went to Lebeda mattress to check out a bed for Dad. Then I went to brother Ken's house and we tried to hammer out some more details concerning Dad. Wow, what a job! All of us kids are working as hard as we can to get things in order, but there is a lot of details that go on in a person's life, and when you don't know ALL those details, it's a bit of a task to locate everything you need     ie: getting his tax papers together to file, which bills need to be paid, etc.

Hey, guess what, it's time to eat!! Guess I'll fix me a mess of shredded wheat. Sound good? :)

                                                             GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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I'M FREE AT LAST!!

3/26/2014

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THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT. WEAR SUNGLASSES.

Ian Somerholder

it's true! I'm finally free of my tethers and hoses and jugs. I even slept a little on my left side. It's still kinda iffy sleeping on my right side, because it makes the room spin but, oh well. Dr. A. says everything looks really good and I don't have to see him for two months. Then he will do the implant operation which sounds like it will be a piece o'cake after what we've been through so far.

The girls are still here, and they have been a major help! Cate has swept and vacumned floors, washed dishes, did a ton of laundry, cooked and baked, and rearranged the pink room. Then she and I emptied on closet and sorted out two huge bags of clothes to go to the Goodwill. She's like Martha Stewart, but with a sweet personality. Abby finally got a massive puzzle done - one that she has started several times, but never had the time to finish. It took her hours, but she enjoyed it. We all went to Jenna's yesterday afternoon to meet Alec's bus. Lon had to drive, since I have to be careful using my arms. The kids got to see all the puppies, which was fun. Then we took Al to speech therapy and met Jenna there, then went home.

I have chemo this morning. I haven't stewed about it much. It will be what it will be. This new concoction that I am taking this time around has several pills listed that I will have to take - all to prevent VOMITTING.

Yeah, that's a real buzz kill. I hate to be nauseous. This will be the first of three sessions - one every three weeks, and then Herceptin for several months. Lon told me a while back that it is the Herceptin that is made from (here we go again!) CHINESE HAMSTER OVERY CELLS. I had went on and on in a much earlier post about it being the $5,550.00 Neulasta shot. I was wrong. (HOWEVER, I found out that the Herceptin infusion is $8,555.00 per, so I am still going to check into starting a Chinese Hamster farm and make a bunch of moolah.) I'm sure that I will be caught in more than one discrepancy in my posting. Big deal.

I am athinking I may have to cut off some of my hair. The back is longer and raggedy and needs evened up. but I am not quite ready to shave my head. I can still use my own bangs sticking out when wearing Roschelle. But I am getting sick of finding strands of hair everywhere! Never could stand that.. Lon suggested that I ask Holly to cut and style it. Bless his heart, but STYLE WHAT? It's "slim--pickings" time now.

I am really going to be interested in finding out what kind of hair I get when it grows back. That's something to look forward to.

Betty C. sent me an interesting comment. She asked if I had ever thought that we would be talking about, chemo, wigs and nursing homes. Crap, we are old! We have come all the way from playing dolls together, to talking about homework, boys, and Prom, to getting funeral home advertisements and trying to get a parent into a nursing home. Interesting.

Tina came through her operation with flying colors and I've heard she is doing well, but looks tired. No wonder. Hang tight, Tina. Sister Sandy has also been very sick since Saturday, so I hope all gets better for her.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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MONDAY DIDN'T TURN OUT SO GOOD

3/25/2014

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AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY. . .

Wellllll . . . I didn't end up going to the doctor. Since my surgery, I have had to sleep in the pink bedroom, because our bed is too high for me to get in and out of comfortably. And since the girls are staying here for a few days, I had Cate sleep in the pink room, Abby in the Pirate room, and I took the couch. I noticed that throughout the night, if I turned my head even a little to the right, I felt a little dizzy. Anyhoo, yesterday, when I woke up I stood up and the room started spinning like crazy!. I stumbled across to the recliner, ending up smashing my hand into the seat of the chair (trying to catch myself and get my balance), and ramming my head into the upright part where your back usually rests. I am so glad no one saw me. I had to call for Lon to help me up and into our room, where I proceeded to "spin", vomit, and sit on the toilet. Needless to say, I spent almost all day in bed lying flat to keep from spinning, puking, and pooping. Since I slept so much yesterday, I had a heck of a time getting any sleep last night. It was a lot of just waiting for morning to come.

Since I was stuck in bed, I didn't get to do anything with the girls, but they were very good and found things to do. Sorry, girls!

If anyone is needing to check on Tina's situation, she put a comment on yesterday's blog telling a little bit about how her Monday went with her surgery. Again, here is another Steel Magnolia woman who can tough through some pretty major stuff. Hang in there, Tina. It's good to know Kale and the kids will be there for help and support.

Dad's evaluation with the nursing home people went very well yesterday. However when they finished with him, he declared he was NOT going to any nursing home. Sigh. It's gotten to the point that there is not other choice, but still it is going to be a challenge to get him where he is safe and well fed, and looked after 24/7.The place we found is one of the very best ones - they stress stimulating the brain and having all kinds of projects and outtings for their people. There are several retired farmers there, which is super good.

Well, I guess I had better get ready for my appointment this morning. I KNOW those stinking drains are coming out today, because this is officially the 4th stinking week since surgery, and I can't go any stinking longer because of the risk of infection setting in. I have been very lucky that the tubes haven't caused anything like that.

But if they still don't want to take them out, (wait for it . . . ) I'M GONNA JERK THEM OUT MYSELF!

I'll bet every woman reading this is thinking OWWWEEEE! at the idea of that. Just kiddin'.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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I'M LIKE JANE JETSON!

3/23/2014

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MAKE TODAY RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING!

Do you remember watching The Jetsons cartoon show from years ago? I always wanted to be like Jane Jetson. Whenever she needed her hair done, she pushed a button and a big helmet-like thing would lower out of her ceiling. It looked like a hairdryer hood. Jane would shove her head in it and voila! she had a lovely, fresh hairdo immediately.

Well, when getting ready for church today, I found that slapping Roschelle (my new friend/wig) on my head and running my fingers through the luscious acrylic strands of hair, I could style my hair in a few minutes. Not as efficient as Jane J., but pretty close.

It was funny to hear the comments from my fellow church people. The women all said how nice and realistic it looked, and the men all thought I had just cut my hair. Go figure. It was nice that they noticed, but the men just didn't have a clue that it was a wig. :)

My girls got here this afternoon. They are on Spring Break from school, so they will be here through Tuesday. Abby and I played a few board games. Cate made a big batch of peanut butter cookies. Whenever she comes over, we almost always bake cookies. My mom would always start mixing up chocolate chip cookies whenever her grandkids walked through the door. It must be a family tradition.

I have been trying to sit still as much as possible, so I can attempt to talk the doctor into taking out the drains tomorrow, instead of waiting for Tuesday as planned. I need to get them out Monday, so I will have the necessary two day period before more chemo. Chemo is scheduled for Wednesday, and I'm afraid if I can't have a removal on Monday, I may have to cancel chemo for the third time. I would kinda like this stuff done sometime before the end of this year. I know . . . GRIPE - GRIPE - GRIPE.

Jenna called me to tell me that the first of the puppies had left the nest. She is doing a good job finding new homes for the little rascals. She was surprised that she was a little blue about them going and feeling badly for their mother, Zeva, now that she will be separated from her babies. I guess that is a mutual-mother sympathy feeling. And that just shows what a tender heart Jen h

I understand that friend Donna C. was an out-patient concerning some growths in her ears. Hope all is well now.

And very special best wishes to niece Tina who is having major surgery tomorrow. It will all be good, so don't worry!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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THERE WILL BE NO - I REPEAT - NO BREAST CANCER BLOG SEQUEL

3/22/2014

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A smile is the most beautiful curve on a woman's body.

Unknown

I think I have talked about this before, where almost every one of you has probably seen a movie or read a book describing a scene in a hospital waiting room. A mother is waiting for a daughter or granddaughter to get out of surgery for breast cancer. The mother always remarks, "Why couldn't it have been ME instead of her?" Well, with me getting it, I was hoping that I would be the one destined to get it, so that my daughter and granddaughters would be by-passed. I hope it stays that way.

With Jenna's permission, I am letting you know that she had quite the scare last week. She went to the doctor for her usual check and a lump was found in her breast. . Her doctor sent her to get an ultra-sound. The tech (Kathy Larson) happened to be the same one I had in November. She grew up next door to us, and I babysat her when she was little, and when she got older, she babysat with my kids!

Anyhoo, the good news is that it turned out to be a cyst filled with fluid. She also has some more that are in a cluster, but are not the cancerous type. I have had three previous surgeries over the years which just turned out to be benign cysts, but now that we have a family history of cancer, Jenna is going to be extra careful about staying alert for any thing out of the ordinary. She was pretty matter-of-fact about the possibility of having breast cancer and said she would have dealt with it, if it had been true. I can't even imagine how tough that would have been, considering she works full time, plus takes care of Alec and has him doing extra curricular stuff like bowling and swimming. It's easier when it's someone older like me, who doesn't have to go to work and has the time to get lots of proper rest. A while back, I had talked to granddaughter Cate's flute teacher, who had had breast cancer years ago when her kids were ages 4 years and 3 months, plus working full-time. How does one do that? I have every confidence that Jenna would have come through with flying colors, but I am sure as hell glad that she doesn't have to go that route.

I was a little worried that, just as our blog is winding down with my situation, we might have to fire it up again to follow Jenna's ordeal. I am soooo grateful that this won't be necessary. Right? So, NO breast cancer blog sequel. However, I may find it hard to eventually stop writing since it has gotten to be a habit. Lately I haven't been able to chat every day because of life's busy events happening right now, but it's nice to go here and blat about everyday stuff and keep track of family and friends.

Yesterday sister Judy, Alec, and I took Dad to visit a wonderful nursing home. It was absolutely fascinating and Dad loved the atmosphere in the building. Alec kept sneaking off to visit the big bird in his cage. He seemed to think it was pretty neat. Down one hallway, there is the rear end of a shiny red Ford pickup sticking out of the wall. Then down the main huge walkway, there are little store fronts - ie: General Store, Post Office, Pet Shoppe, Fire Station, all decorated with antiques and reproductions. It feels like you are walking down Main Street of an old-time small town. Everything was so colorful and friendly, and they have the neatest Soda Shoppe (looks like the real thing) with a soft-serve ice cream machine for a special treat whenever. The rooms are just wonderful - not like your usual nursing home. This is something we are checking into, and it was so nice that Dad wasn't frightened by it and seemed to enjoy talking to a retired farmer that lives there. Finally, someone who has something in common with him! Actually, it sounds like there are several retired farmers there, so that would be perfect for him. Also, lots of lovely ladies his age. Why not? You never get too old for friendship or love.

Considering how things COULD have turned out this week for my Jen and Dad, I would say that right this minute "It is all good".

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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JUST PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

3/20/2014

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EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION, ALTHOUGH IT MAY NOT BE THE OUTCOME THAT WAS ORIGINALLY HOPED FOR OR EXPECTED.

                                                                              Alice Hoffman

It's nice that the weather is warming up. That gives us all some hope that this darn winter will soon be behind us. It is a little maddening, though, to see all the limbs and sticks laying in yard since the snow melted and revealed them. It will be a while before I can use my arms like I have always been used to and I am itching to start cleaning the yard to get ready for mowing. Little Ma knows what I am talking about. She will be 90 years old this year, but that doesn't stop her mind from thinking of all the things she would like to do, like when she was younger. Her mind still works the same, it's the physical part that holds her back. Curses!

It's been a busy few days again, with all of us dealing with the "Dad" issue. Sorry I can't be more specific about this situation, but I'd rather keep it under wraps for awhile. Anyhoo, that's what has been keeping me hopping. I did have Al today. He played so good and kept himself occupied. Uh . . . however when I went into the bathroom and found the floor flooded and the sink full of water and toys, I thought he had been a little TOO occupied. When I got towels out and told him to clean up his mess, he said he was sorry, but didn't make a move. After several times telling him to please wipe up the water and getting no action, I did what I would have done to my own kids when they were his age. To get his attention, I thumped his head with my finger. He knew I meant business and proceeded to calmly mop up all the water. When his mom got home from work, I told him to tell her what happened today. He told her he had flooded the bathroom and then added "Hit head". I couldn't figure out when he had hit his head and then realized that he was ratting on my about thumping him with my finger. Well, I did get his attention and he learned a lesson at the same time.             (little snitch!)

The wig turned out to look nice. I went to Wal-Mart yesterday and an old co-worker came up and said it looked good and very realistic. I wore it today but after a while, it gave me a headache, so I switched to wearing a scarf. I still haven't thought of the perfect name for the wig, but I'll come up with something. My truck is named Ruby Red, and I call my GPS Reba. I'm thinking maybe Roschelle? That way, I'll stay in the "R" family.

The main thing you have to be careful of , when wearing a wig, is to not get too close to heat. NEVER stick your head down by the oven door when taking something out, or you will melt it. I wouldn't want to wear a "Roasted Roschelle". That doesn't paint a pretty picture. No matter how nice the hairdo is, it wouldn't be so nifty when you have a big melted plastic glob right in the middle of your forehead.

I baked a cherry pie to take to Dad's, and wouldn't you know, the darn thing didn't turn out the best. Why is it when you are just making something for yourself, it looks great, but just when you want something to look good for someone else, it flops. It still tasted the same, so I took it over and left it. (he had gone somewhere). I never claimed to be the Pioneer Woman, or the Barefoot Contessa, or even Trisha Yearwood. I did manage to cook well enough for two kids to be adequately nourished enough to reach adulthood (actually, that's a rather pathetic thing to brag about, wouldn't you say?).

I am heading for bed. I am pooped and I'm sure there are lots of really kooky things waiting to happen tomorrow, so I better get some rest.

Oh, thanks to my friends that are sympathizing with me and my endless relationship with the drains. It is a true friend that will put up with crabbing and whining about something that is necessary, and still tell you that everything will be okay and it is fine to crab and whine.

                                                                          GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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JUST CALL ME CHESTY LAFONTANE

3/18/2014

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WE VANT TO PUMP YOU UP!

Hans and Franz from "Saturday Night Live"

Well, another trip to the plastic surgeon and another "no go" on removing the drains for at least a few more days. If they don't stop out-putting, the doc is going to remove them regardless on the 25th. And again, I had to cancel chemo for Thursday, the 20th. Aye yi yi!!

However, I did get to experience the thrill of having four big plunger-like tubes of saline pumped into the girls. Actually, I didn't feel anything much, since I am still mostly numb. I didn't look while it was going on, 'cause I feel if I don't see it, it ain't really happening (pain wise). When the doc got done, he had me look in a mirror. My response was "WHOA!" I think he might have overdid it a tad. I do not want to look like a hoochy-coochy grandma. What the hey.

Jeffrey from the salon called and said my hair arrived. Whoo Whoo. I am really starting to look kinda sparse so it is good timing. I will probably go and pick it up tomorrow. Shall I give it a name, since it will be a very "close" friend for the next few months? I'll have to think on that and christen it something really good.

Mr. Alec came this morning and spent the day with us. Little Ma came and sat with him while we went for my appointment, and then Grandpa watched him while my brother Ken and I had a meeting with a lawyer (for Dad). Then I came home and Al and I played a wild game of Battleship. My, how that kid cheats at that game. I'm not really sure what the rules are, but I know we aren't playing it correctly. But he has fun, and that's all that matters. What the hey.

I was crazy busy the last few days with more stuff going on with Dad. Sister Karen is coming from Ankeny tomorrow to handle some legal business that needs to be dealt with. It kinda feels like we are living in a soap opera. Just when we think we might catch a break, chaos breaks out and things are spinning out of control. Jeez.

My Dan just called to check in, and I told him about my becoming a "Chesty LaFontane" person. He had quite a laughing fit. I don't blame him. The mental picture I get of myself as . . shall we say? . . . a perkier person than I have been in the past, tends to be a little ridiculous. What the hey.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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TRADING PLACES

3/15/2014

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WITH THE NEW DAY, COMES NEW STRENGTH AND NEW THOUGHTS.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Several posts ago, I teased about daughter Jenna taking over the part of being the parent and carrying a huge part of my load for me. Unfortunately this may become more and more common as I age. Sorry.

I only bring this fact up because of the situation my siblings and I are going through with our dad. So many families our there are dealing with parents entering dementia and Alzheimer's, and I guess my family is joining the "club".

It is extremely sad to see someone who has always taken care of things, become so helpless and start to make poor decisions that are so wrong. Lon experienced this type of behavior with both his grandfathers and his own dad, but luckily for everyone involved, all three handled it with quiet grace. My own mom gently slipped into dementia. She was very quiet and peaceful about it. Mother never wanted to make a fuss about anything, and always tried to keep her dignity about her. That seemed to carry over into her disease.

However, Dad is flaying around, kicking and screaming in rage, totally not understanding what is happening to him. We do realize that this is not his true self, but someone he has turned into, and unfortunately there isn't much anyone can do to change it. Several things have occurred in the last three weeks that have endangered him to the point that it is a super-serious situation.

I know that I have been blessed with good thoughts and prayers from so many people over the last four months, and have seen that the prayers have really worked! Perhaps I can get a little more greedy, and ask for the same for my dad. I know that he will probably never be the same, but I just want him to experience a bit of calm and peace, and not live constantly in panic and fear over the unknown. A tiny prayer here or there asking for him to have a moment of quiet once in a while would be so amazing. Frankly, I think everyone could use a little of that, right?

Let's all pray for an occasional moment of quiet for everybody. Thanks.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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I'M SORRY YOU HAVE TO KEEP RECOUNTING

3/13/2014

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BUT EVEN THE VERY HAIRS OF YOUR HEAD ARE ALL NUMBERED.

Luke 12:7 NKJ Bible

Yes, God, I know that the amount of my hair keeps changing, so I apologize for the constant recounting you must do to stay up to date on the latest number of hairs on MY head. All day long, it's SUBTRACT . . . SUBTRACT . . . SUBTRACT!. sorry

I went to the Jeffrey Scott Salon yesterday and ordered a new wig(cranial prosthesis). I hope it looks okay. Jeffrey sells really quality stuff and I can get it in a very close match to my own hair color. Should be in on Monday. I washed my hair this morning, and it seemed to fluff it out a little bit and now it doesn't look so sparse or smashed flat. It's funny washing it now, since it always felt like such a heavy mass before, and now it's kinda like carefully washing hair that is made of tissue-paper.

The family was really burning up the phone lines yesterday, trying to deal with all the latest issues with our dad. Just when we think we have all our ducks in a row, everything goes kablooey, and we have to deal with more stuff. All of us are getting to the point of exhaustion, trying to help him get the best possible help available.

I'm still having problems with the large amount of out-put from my drains. I talked to the doctor's office today, and they said to hang in there until Tuesday when I have my next appointment. They reassured me that they don't let anybody keep their drains in longer than four weeks. FOUR WEEKS!? I am not going to try for a new record, let me tell you. It is strange how the constant pain from having those hoses stuck in my body can really make a person so tired. It's not horrible pain, but just a constant achy dull pain. When it is never-ending, it can really drain the energy right out of a person. Tonight Lon asked if he could get me anything, or do anything for me. I actually started to cry, because I wanted him to rub my back which was killing me and just the thought of having some relief made me tear up. He did a great job, and I felt sooo much better.

On the 03-11-14 post comment from Betty C, she said she is doing motivational speeches to get people fired up to raise funds and work for breast cancer research. What a peach . . . what a pal . . . what a pip!!!! She seems to be doing a lot of stuff to help make a difference in people's lives. You go, girl! Thanks!

Little Ma sent over some delicious salmon patties, and boy, did I enjoy them! Also got a nice card from Rita and Ed Porter. Thanks so much. My Daniel called and checked in with me earlier. It was good to hear from him. Sandi F. was curious if I needed some books to read to pass the time. I got severalgreat books for Christmas and Nina has lent me books and movies, but I can't seem to get motivated enough to deal with them. I always thought if I had the time, it would be heavenly to be able to just sit and read. Now it just seems like it is too much work right now. Weird.

Tomorrow I go to Jenna's early and pick up Alec for the day. Spring break is here and he is coming to my house to play. I will have him next week, too. Cate and Abby don't have their break until the following week, and I get to have them for a few days.

Alec is learning to e-mail at school, and he sent a very nice message the other day. I am going to try and keep communicating with him via the internet and see what all he will tell me. Interesting.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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SUCH A BUSY DAY

3/11/2014

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ADOPT THE PACE OF NATURE. HER SECRET IS PATIENCE.

                                                                  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today started off with a bang. Got a call from Sister Sandy telling me that Dad had a very unfortunate thing happen to him early this morning. I won't go into detail, but it is a real life-changing time for him.

Later Jenna called me to tell me that she was dashing home because the school had called and said that the kids had been let out early out (nobody told us) and that there was no one at home to meet the bus. The bus cruised around the block until she got there. I was going to pick him up later anyway for therapy, so I raced over to her house so she could go back to work. Since, we had three hours to kill, Al and I went to TWO Good Will stores and then to Wal-Mart. I ran into Camie M. who I hadn't seen in a coon's age, and chatted for a few minutes. Received some great cards in the mail , thank you Jodi and Tracy, Betty M., and Shar Dunlap. The messages I received from Sandi F. and Betty C. keep me going with their optimism. Love you guys. And Sandy R. in Atlanta, I saw the "J". I'm so sorry I missed it at first. Loved it.

I told Lon that the vultures are circling. A piece of mail I got today was an application for Funeral and Final Expenses Insurance. Sorry, guys, you missed the boat this time. I won't be needing it for quite a while. Talking about vultures circling reminded me of all the times we went to Zephr Hills, Florida to visit Little Ma's aunt in the nursing home. Zephr Hills consists of lots of nursing homes, medical facilities and retirement homes which means the town is full of old people. Yes, Zephr Hills is God's Waiting Room. The first time I was in that city, I asked Lon what kind of birds were always circling overhead in big flocks. When he told me they were vultures, (really!) it made me fear for the welfare of any oldsters walking on the street. I didn't want some darn birds swooping down and snatching some elderly folks right off their feet and flying away with them, or perching in tree tops waiting to pick of some unsuspecting geriatric pedestrian.

I talked to sis-in-law Jill today, and she was asking me the specifics of the drainage-tubing-plastic grenade situation and she made me laugh so hard from her reactions. Evidently she is a little squeamish about the details, so I just told her to Google it and look at the pictures and she'll understand. (I bet you a dollar that she won't be able to bring herself to check it out - and frankly, I don't blame her a bit!).

I forgot to tell you that when I saw the plastic surgeon yesterday, I asked him if he needed to start injecting the fluid into the expanders to start stretching the skin for the implants which is what I was told was needed. He asked me how much bigger I wanted to be and I told him that I didn't want to be any bigger, which shocked him. I guess most women would be aiming for a little bit more endowment if they got the chance. Hmmm I'm gonna have to think on this some more. It wouldn't hurt if I was a smidge bigger, but I bet that stretching the expanders will hurt like heck!                            I'll keep you posted on this.

                                                                                   GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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