I AM ON MY WAY. I CAN GO THE DISTANCE.

                                               Hercules from the movie "Hercules"




I am thinking about changing my name to "Rocky Balboa" Oliphant 'cause I'm going to start whupping on a whole new fight. Yup, I found out today that I am stuck with my plastic tubing and "grenade" containers for a while. I was just kidding when I mentioned I may be wearing this equipment until Christmas, but somehow, that doesn't seem so funny or so impossible right now. Went to the doctor today and found out I am still producing too much fluid to remove the hoses. Talk about being an over-achiever on something so stupid! I am aware of the consequences if they are removed prematurely. The danger of my arms swelling up is too likely, so I'll just fuss and fume and wait it out.

Doctor Andrews said that the more I use my arms, the more the output of fluid there is, so I am to stop using my arms for almost everything. Unfortunately, life must go on and I can't just shrink-wrap my arms to my sides so that they won't move. Oy vey.

Since I can't take chemo while wearing this drainage apparatus, I had to cancel my Thursday appointment for another week. No big deal. But this is still very annoying. So, you can probably guess that I am in a perfect snit, totally bummed, P.O.ed, having a hissy fit, and am as mad as a wet hen.

I called and made an appointment to see some wigs at that Jeffrey Scott Salon. It's getting to be that time, kids. I'll try and stay away from the Eva Gabor look or the long flowing locks like Farrah Fawcett wore. Just something simple in a middle-aged, whitish-blonde beehive hair-do!  No? Well, I'm sure I'll be able to find something that won't scare the beejeebers out of the grandkids.  Say, while I'm in town, maybe I should check out  a T-shirt place and order a fightin' shirt complete with my new fightin' name. Cue the theme music from ROCKY.

If, however, there is a problem with the copyright laws concerning using the Rocky Balboa name,  I do have a back-up that I could use. What do you think about JANENE "JUGS" OLIPHANT? Since I may be dragging these darn jugs around for a while, it may be more appropriate anyway.

                                                                                 GOD BLESS YOU ALL

NO MATTER HOW SERIOUS LIFE GETS, YOU STILL GOTTA HAVE THAT ONE PERSON YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY STUPID WITH.

                                                            Unknown

Fortunately, I have enough nutty family members and friends, so I can claim more than just one to be stupid with.

First off, I need to address a severe scolding (along with a huge thank-you) to my Nina. Lon had mentioned that he thought Nina would probably show up at the hospital the day of my surgery. I told him that she had better NOT come, because she had to go to work that night, then leave immediately afterward to drive to Chicago to catch a plane for a much-needed, much-deserved week-long beach fun-in-the-sun vacation! I knew she had a million things to take care of, and she would be totally worn out when she finally left! Weeellll, she showed up (little stinker!). I got to see her for a few minutes when I came out of recovery, but wasn't able to make any kind of sensible conversation, so THANK YOU for coming, Nina. You are always thinking of everyone else first, before yourself. Hope I can pay you back in some way in the future.

FYI:  my stinking back is killing me. I have had to sleep in the recliner because that is the easiest thing to get up and out of. When I try sleeping in bed (even using pillows propped up), it hurts a lot to try and pull myself up into a sitting position.  Remember, I am the twitchy can't-lay-in-one-position-for-very-long so this sitting in one position all night long in a recliner is for the birds! I was whining about my back aching today, so Hubby had me get down on my knees, and put my arms on the seat of an upholstered chair. Then I cautiously braced myself so I wouldn't squish my boobs while he very carefully rubbed some of the kinks out of my back. I'm so glad no one came to the door about that time, because I was sure howling and groaning in pain mixed with back-pain relief, but it might have sounded like someone was beating the heck out of me.

We went to see Dr. Ghosh today. Now, I was of the understanding that we had reached the mountain peak and was heading down the other side with this cancer situation. And basically that is true. But, oh crap, what a lot of work there is still to do. Next Thursday, I begin chemo again. The cocktail of meds is different this time and each treatment will only last about two hours instead of the four or five hours, which is very good to hear.  I will do a series of three sessions  and after a certain period of time it will be time to get the expanders removed and the implants . . .  well,  . . . implanted. I will  continue Herceptin until I have accumulated 12 months worth of this drug.  I don't know when they will surgically remove the Power Port by my collar bone. Taking all of these operations into consideration, it will probably be about six months or more before I can lay on my stomach and get a decent backrub. Krikey!!

And here's something really wild -  I found out that I will also be taking a pill every day for (wait for it) THE NEXT FIVE YEARS!

Yes, we have all agreed that this stuff is all do-able. And it will get done. But I was really unhappy when I asked the nurse-practitioner today if the new type of chemo was going to leave my hair alone and she said that after two weeks of this stuff, I will most likely be bare-headed (although she thought the same thing last time and I held on to most of it for three months.) Whatever. Jenna and I are talking about wigs again. Maybe I'll re-order that slutty one that Lon kinda liked. That will make the neighbors think that shy-quiet-stay-at-home-Janene has slipped over to the wild side.    (NOT!)

                                                                            GOD BLESS YOU ALL

EVEN MIRACLES TAKE A LITTLE TIME.

                                                      Fairy Godmother from 'Cinderella'

While it is true that most miracles take a little time, I experienced a little one yesterday and I really appreciated it.

How many times have you gone to the Wal-Mart Pharmacy and had to wait for quite a while? Yesterday Alec and I went to pick up a pain pill prescription for me and found ourselves with about fifteen people in line ahead of us. I had about 30 minutes to finish my shopping, allow a few minutes to let Little Mister play the Claw Machine, and then get him to his speech therapy session. I knew my wait in the long line would take up most of that time, but I had to have those stinking pills. Then the miracle happened.

One of the clerks behind the pharmacy counter called out that if anyone had Humana or Blue Cross Insurance, they could come up to a certain register since there was a glitch with it and it was only taking those two insurance plans. No one moved out of line, so I went up and got waited on immediately. Thirty seconds later I was done! That, my friends, is a sweet miracle.  I got everything done and Alec to his therapy with a few minutes to spare! Life is good!!                                                                                                                        


Hey, I've got a little story that originated from a previous post. A while back, when I was listing my "fifteen shades of gray" on our blog, I mentioned how I loved my "plaid gray" skirt that I had worn in high school. The other day I found a snap shot of me sitting in a chair, wearing that skirt!. The thing that made me really sit up and pay attention was the CHAIR!


Years ago our friend and neighbor, Jean Schoneman, had bought a new chair and had given Mother her "gently" used one. Mother was the type of person that was always fixing or re-doing things and giving them new life so she went out and bought some light-weight tan-colored upholstery material to recover this chair - and actually did a nice job on it. After finishing her project, there was a generous length of material left over.

One winter day, much like what we have experienced lately, school was cancelled because of a snow day. When this happened, I dragged out my sewing machine, a skirt pattern, and the extra tan material. Any time I found some material laying around, I was always sewing a skirt because it was fun and didn't take too long, and it also gave me something new to wear. We didn't run off to the Mall every other day and shop for new clothes, because, well,  for one thing, we DIDN'T have a mall.

Fast forward a few weeks. My boyfriend at the time gave me a ride home from school. As we sat talking in the living room, it suddenly occurred to me that I was wearing my tan "upholstery material" skirt AND SITTING ON THE TAN CHAIR!!!!  The knowledge of my predicament hit me like a ton of bricks, and I must have had the "deer in the headlights" look on my face.  Try to gracefully exit a chair, when you have completely blended into the background of it. I was literally wearing a chair skirt. Classy, huh?

The latest report on my healing experience, is that all is going well. I have an appointment with the oncologist, Dr. Ghosh, tomorrow to find out about the next step as far as future chemo treatments are concerned.            

 I am hoping that the drainage (sorry - that sounds disgusting, but it's all part of the process) slows down so that I am getting rid of less than 30 ccs on each side per day over a period of two days. Then the last two drains can be removed and I will be feeling a whole bunch better! Jenna reminded me that I had not bothered to mention that when my surgery was done, no cancer was found in the lymph nodes and therefore, no extensive surgery had to be done in that area. Talk about lucky!

I was checking out things on-line and discovered that my surgery (while real cancer was involved in my case) was the same type as Angellie Jolie (?) had to have because of her family history with breast cancer. If she can get through the boobs-and-tubes period, so can I!

                                                                               GOD BLESS YOU ALL

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

THE WORD ITSELF SAYS "I'M POSSIBLE!"

                                                      Audrey Hepburn

After seeing the doctors, I was too exhausted to post anything yesterday. We even picked up something for supper in town so we wouldn't have to deal with that.

Both appointments went very well. Dr. Brimmer was very pleased with the color, shape, lack of bruising, and absence of extreme pain. Dr. Andrews felt the same and decided that I could have two of the four drains removed. I was a little worried about him cutting the stitches and yanking out 8 to 10 inches of plastic tubing. When he got ready to do it, he said the most important things to do were to close my eyes and take a huge breath. I closed my eyes and was starting to take a big breath when he said, "Quick! Open your eyes!" When I did, he was holding the first tube and bulb right in front of my eyes. It was already out! Yah!!! The second one didn't hurt at all either.

I asked Dr. B. what size the tumor ended up being and also if the chemo had fried it. The size was approx. 2.5 cm and was still alive, but apparently had shrunk from the chemo treatments. All the tissue that they cut around the lump proved to be healthy, which is VERY good news. All the bad stuff was encompassed inside the tissue that they removed. 

I see Dr. Ghosh Thursday to find out about more chemo. It would be a dream come true if I didn't have anymore treatments. My hair is definitely falling out at a rapid rate now, but yet I can still go out in public and get away with it. Of course, it is thin, but I think people mostly notice the tons of hair on my shoulders. As far as here at home, it feels like living in one of those yucky houses on TV where somebody owns dozens of cats and has cat hair all over the place. Everywhere I look, I see strands of hair. I can't imagine what it will look like when I am able to sweep and vacumn. Oh well. ONE thing I have learned from this experience, that whatever is going to happen will go ahead and happen. And if I go completely bald, I will get through it.  The thing I dread the most is the fact that everyone will see how very awful I will look. NOTE: I am not asking for sympathy or comfort. It's simply the truth. Without hair, I am gonna look downright "fugly" (pardon my French). It doesn't help that this experience has seriously aged my about twenty years.                                                                                 

 It's a fact, Jack, and ain't nothing gonna change it.

The title I used for this post may have some of you curious. It pertains to writing this post. As much as I have whined and complained about every little thing going on in my life,  it seems like so much has happened so quickly. Perhaps it will soon be time to say good-by to this blog. It has really been a life-saver for me and I thank Jenna for coming up with idea. I'll wait a little longer to see if there is more to report in the future.

I THINK THAT THAT'S THE WISEST THING -- TO PREVENT ILLNESS BEFORE WE TRY TO CURE SOMETHING.

                                                                                Maya Angelou

Very wise saying, Maya, but right now I'm concentrating on the "getting over" part of this illness.

Tomorrow I go to see both Dr. Brimmer and Dr. Andrews. Other than my husband, my son, and my grandson, these guys are the next two important men in my life right now.    

 After surgery, the tumor was sent off to pathology so, hopefully the results of the size of the tumor will finally be known. We had been told 1.8 cm, 3.7 cm., and 2.6 cm. Pathology was going to "fillet" the healthy parts away to find the actual cancer. It will be interesting to see if the lump they have was killed by the chemo or if it still was a viable, growing mass.

I sincerely hope that the drains come out tomorrow. What a pain in the neck! I know it is important to keep from getting blood clots in the breasts, but I've had about enough with tubes and bottles hanging from my body. And I was right about my new "lingerie" -- definitely not from Victoria's Secret. More along the lines of  a G-I Jane Military Bullet-Proof Bra (in white).  Yesterday morning I had a bit of a scare when I got up. My right side felt damp and when I checked it, there was blood all over my right side. One of the drain tubes must have gotten kinked while I slept and I developed a temporary leakage problem. But all is well now.

With all the snow and bad weather, I have not been going anywhere or doing anything of interest, so there's little to talk about. I have had some interesting visits (over the phone) with Cousin Deb Z., Sister Sandy, my sweet Jenna, Cate-the-Angel,  and Little Ma, so I am still in the loop as far as knowing what's going on out there. NOTE: At one point , I felt I may have to cut the converstion short with Deb Z. She was telling me some very funny stories, and, well, It hurts like heck to laugh, and she got me laughing pretty good.

I told Cate that I was just sitting in my recliner, when it suddenly occurred to me - - - technically, right now, I am free of cancer! I know I may still have to go through some more chemo to catch any "stragglers"  but until I hear otherwise, I have NO MORE CANCER.  It kinda blew my mind to realize that the surgery's purpose was to remove it, and now the surgery is over.  Whoo Whoo! I guess I was so busy trying not to feel the owies going on in my body, I dismissed the most important thing.

Yup, tomorrow is going to be quite the day. Lots of good news, I hope.

And if I get the drains removed, I won't care a bit if I have to wear the "Iron Maiden" bras for a little bit longer.  :)

                                                                           GOD BLESS YOU ALL