The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong in the broken places.
Ernest Hemingway
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A CANCER PATIENT OPEN-LETTER

12/26/2015

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TURN YOUR WOUNDS INTO WISDOM.
                                                                     Oprah Winfrey

I received an e-mail from a lady, Alicia C. Staley, who is a 3-time cancer survivor and the Ambassador for Cure Forward, a new platform that is helping cancer patients understand their condition and to access precision medicine.  She asked if I would put an open-letter on this blog to people who have been diagnosed with cancer recently,  and summarize what I have gone through the last two years.  Happy to do so.


For those of you who have been following this blog, you have read about my ups and downs, highs and lows,  good times and bad times.  Gee, that sounds like EVERYONE'S  life, because that is basically what existing is all about.  But when you are told that you have cancer, there is a moment of disbelief.  You honestly cannot believe that this has happened to you. I remember thinking (just for a split-second) that this was it . . . that I wasn't going to make it and I would be dead within a matter of months.  That's when my German stubbornness took over and I started to look at the big picture.  The thing that was most exhausting to think about was the amount of work there was to do in the months ahead.  But the job was laid out for me and I knew I had to get going and take care of business.  What was the alternative?  I asked an oncologist what would happen if I didn't do a darn thing!  She replied, "It gets messy and then you die."  Nuff said. 

On October 30, 2013, I had a mammogram performed (after being encouraged to go get one by a total stranger who was a breast cancer survivor, after she learned that I had not had an examination for two years).    

 I remember the tech saying she needed to redo the films on my left breast because . . . get this . . .  the drape had fallen down over my body.  I wasn't paying any attention and thought that the cloth had obscured the x-ray.  Duh.  It was simply that she had detected a big lump and wanted more pictures to confirm what she was seeing.  The next day I got a letter saying they needed to do further checking.  No big deal.  Right.  That's when it all started.

The day I was officially told that I had Stage 1A invasive ductal breast cancer with her-2-neu rich, ER., I was immediately sent off to several appointments , meeting with a surgeon, an oncologist, and staff that would help me through the emotional difficulties.  The most important thing to remember when putting together your "team" that you will be dealing with for months, is to ask someone you trust who has been through the same thing, for references.  I interviewed my surgeon and was happy with his ideas for treatment.  Then I met with an oncologist but had a gut-feeling that she was not the right fit for me.  Do not be embarrassed or afraid to pass on any doctor that you feel is not someone you want to work on your body.  I interviewed another oncologist, and struck gold when I hired him. 

I am not trying to sound flip when I tell you that your frame of mind is going to be your most powerful weapon fighting your disease. It's a fact.  Keep focused and concentrate on the big picture,  that there will be an end to your treatment period and things can get much better.   I have been there, and honestly, I am not saying it is going to be easy.  But it can be done. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a family support team that I had. But I hope you are all as blessed as I was.   It got to the point, that my daughter and I would cry together and then, we realized what ugly criers we are.  We would end up laughing our fannies off when we saw how funny our faces looked.  Cry if you want to.  Laugh If you are able.  This is just part of the cycle of your life.  You are probably asking yourself, 'Why me?"  The answer is, "Why not me?"  We have all seen little kids with bald heads and that is definitely a red flag that they have been going through chemo. It can happen to young people, old people, beautiful, talented people, and the most humble of beings.  The plain truth is . . .  it can happen to any of us. By the way, do not be too fearful of chemo. It is different for each individual but there have been so many advancements over the years, that it was almost painless for me.  Uh, but you might want to have some Immodium handy, 'cause there might be lava-flowing diarrhea occurring a few days after each procedure.  The hair loss is very distressing for a lot people, especially us women.  But I found that buying some attractive wigs was a blast.  Going out?  Just slap a wig on and you've saved yourself tons of time fixing your hair.  Oddly enough, I never got to be shiny-smooth bald.  I maintained a layer of peachfuzz throughout the whole time of treatment.  I did fret over the fact that I was bald more than any other part of this experience.       Shallow, aren't I? 

As you experience this part of your life, perhaps you will begin to see things in a different light.  I remember telling my regular MD that 2014 was the very best and also the very worst year of my life.  I had been diagnosed with breast cancer, my father died, my beloved mother-in-law died, my cousin, my aunt, some friends, heck, it seemed like so many lovely people in my life passed away, yet I saw the amazing love and support from my family and friends.  When your husband will strip the fluid from drain tubes sticking out from your breasts, then you've got someone special in your life. (By the way, we affectionately called it "milking Bossy - - - and I guess that made ME Bossy.) When your kids will laugh with you when you report that one of your chemo medicines is made from Chinese hamster ovaries, that is beautiful.  (I vowed I would get some of those little Chinese hamsters and start raising them.  That medication was so expensive, I thought we could breed them and squirt those little ovaries out and make big bucks!)

I have four more years before I am declared officially cancer free.  I have been taking a medication that stops the development of estrogen, because estrogen is like fertilizer for any  cancer cells that may still be lurking in my body.  Since I do not produce estrogen anymore, it is difficult to lose weight, but what a small price to pay.  The result is . . .  I AM ALIVE!

So, I guess my message to all of you who have learned that you are unfortunately now a member of "The Club" is to hang in there, take good care of yourselves, try to find humor in things, sob your heart out if it will make you feel better, but please don't wallow too deeply in the sorrow-pool. Lift your head up and hope for the best.    True, it's not the kind of club anyone would ever voluntarily join, but, well, we're in it whether we want to be or not.  Be strong, depend on your faith, ask for prayers from others, because that is huge - - - really huge.  Trust me.

Good luck. 

Janene Oliphant

                                                                    GOD BLESS YOU ALL



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MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS

12/25/2015

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JOYOUS TIDINGS TO ALL!

What a beautiful Christmas Day!  Hope you are all having (or had) special celebrations.  We had our Christmas meal and present exchange last night and it went so well.  Perhaps it's because the little kids are getting older and seem to pace themselves in the excitement department.


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and here's some pictures from our family to yours.  Also, I would like to show you a few of my very special gifts.

Jenna and Alec got me a Fairy door and a window to put up outside.  We had talked all summer about how to put one on my old cottonwood tree down the hill in the backyard.  But this is going to be put on the railing of my deck for some secret little Fairy.  Love it.  Also, Lon framed (with Nina's help) some really old business posters that his dad had made up for the company back in the fifties.  He gave one to each of the kids as well as made one up for my office.  The last picture is the quote that this blog begins with, by Ernest Hemingway (along with a picture of a sunflower) which has been etched on a framed mirror plus  a glass ornament with a sunflower etched on it.  These wonderful gifts were from Dan, Tammy, and girls.   I got more nice things but these really touched my heart.  Oh, I'm sitting here, writing this while listening to my new boom box Lon got me, since my old one was crapping out miserably.  Hurrah!

Enjoy the rest of the holiday season!!!!

                                                                       GOD BLESS YOU All



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WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR TREE IN SILVER OR PINK?

12/19/2015

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YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING - - -  WHERE WOULD YOU PUT IT?
                                                                           Steven Wright

What color is your tree this year?  Just asking.  I remember one year Mother decided to go high-tech and she bought the ugliest silver tree.  Really.  It was made out of coiled metal (kinda like really tough curly tinsel).  It came with a spinning wheel light that you sat on the floor and plugged in. As it rotated, it's four colored panels would make the tree look like red, or blue, or green, or gold.  The only type of decorations you could put on it were glass balls. Yuck!  I recall we used it for more than just a few times.

The first year we lived in this house, we decided we didn't have room for a tree.  We had no kids so it wasn't that big of a deal if we set one up or not.  But then I got thinking that I had ALWAYS had a tree at Christmas.  So, a few days before the big event I bought one of the last decent looking trees around.  Only it was flocked in pink. It was about four feet high and four feet across - - - you know, chunky. So you see, just like my mother, I can stray from the normal path and go hay-wire. 

I have downsized on the number of ornaments I put on the tree.  Mainly, because I know I will have to take them all off and pack them away.  I'm not as ambitious as I was when I was younger. 
One year I was determined to use every ornament I had and really load the tree.  Unfortunately, I did a little too much decorating on the side facing the room and had to literally anchor the tree to the wall to keep it from falling over.  My Dan said they were not having a tree because they have two cats and the cats will demolish it, trying to climb up. (Do you suppose if they got a pink flocked tree that the flock stuff would keep the animals away?  Just asking.)

Okay, counting today there are now 6 shopping days.  I spoke in error in the last post.

NOTE:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOME  GREAT LADIES WHO ALL CELEBRATED IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS.     NINA, ZONNA, BETTY C. , SANDY,  AUNT DONNA, AND THE ANNIVERSARY OF OUR LITTLE MA'S BIRTHDAY ON DECEMBER 11TH.   MUST BE A GOOD TIME OF YEAR TO BE BORN 'CAUSE THEY'RE ALL SPECIAL PEOPLE.

                                                                      GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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CHRISTMAS PAST

12/18/2015

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EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE IS REAL.
                                                                                 Pablo Picasso

First, I want to mention something.  Google or listen for this song on the radio --- Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Canon.  I have heard Pachabel's Canon played at weddings, but this is a gorgeous version especially for Christmas.  Whenever I hear it on the car radio, I crank up the volume and enjoy!

This morning I asked Hubby what had been his favorite Christmas gift ever.  He grumbled something about, "I don't know."  He's never been one for the holidays, so that's okay.  I do remember him talking about a B-B gun he got when he was about nine or ten, so I suspect that was it.

I got a doll every year.  I still think that "plastic new doll smell" is the best ever. That feeling of having a brand new baby with a pretty crisp dress and white shoes is amazing.  Of course, as the year goes by and you have repeatedly hand washed her clothes and ironed them with you little iron (honestly, I had a small red toy iron that plugged in and really got hot!), and your sister Judy decides to trim all of her hair off, telling you that it will grow back, your toy doesn't look as good, so it's always nice to look forward to a fresh brand new baby to start off the new year.


When it was just us four little girls, we had a ritual that we did every year.  On Christmas Eve, Karen would set the alarm on her ivory colored Bakelite radio for something like 6 AM.  That was the time that the folks said we could come downstairs --- no sooner!  Unfortunately, we would invariably wake up much earlier so we would pile onto one bed and turn on the radio to listen to music.  That radio was an odd contraption.  When you first turned it on, the glass tubes inside had to warm up, and for several minutes it gave off the most ghastly squeal. We would pile pillows on it to muffle the sound.   Then, when the alarm officially announced that it was time to go, we would line up, youngest and littlest (me), then Judy, then Sandy, and last, Karen.   And that's when it happened just like it did every stinking year.  Once we reached the last step of the stairs, it was everyone for themselves.  Can you imagine what happens when three excited sisters are behind you and they start to stampede toward the tree?  Someone gets run over!  Me.

I think it was Sandy's job to plug in the tree lights in the semi-dark living room.  One year, she reached under the tree to get the cord and laid her hand on the head of my newest doll.  It was one of those three-foot tall "My Little Sister" dolls that everyone was getting that year.  It nearly gave her a heart attack since she thought she was touching someone's hair who was sitting under the tree.  FYI  Those darn dolls were a pain to so many people.  Us little girls who had received one for Christmas felt the need to drag it to school to show to all our friends.  But when you ride a school bus, and your doll takes up a seat that some real kid could be using, well, that spells TROUBLE!

If you are not ready for Christmas, you have six shopping days left.  So, don't just sit there . . .  GET MOVING --- NOW ----NOW---NOW!    Happy Holidays, Y'all.

                                                                    GOD BLESS YOU ALL




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THE STORY OF THE "TRUE"  GIFTING

12/15/2015

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HERE IS A TEST TO FIND WHETHER YOUR MISSION ON EARTH IS FINISHED - - -  IF YOU'RE ALIVE,      IT ISN'T.
                                                                                              Richard Bach

Happy Holidays, everyone.  I am sure you all have been  busy getting ready for Christmas.  Thanksgiving blew past us in a hurry, and suddenly December 25th is rushing towards us.

I have found that this is quite a simple time for once.  I have almost all of my shopping done, I already cooked a turkey, have it cut up and in the freezer, so with the ham I'll bake on Christmas Eve, that is half the battle.  I finally got the tree up and actually put it in a different corner of the family room this year.  Since February, we have inherited a Grandfather's clock and a lovely curio cabinet from Little Ma, and with them in the room, it looks a tad crowded but I like it.

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I have been thinking about all the things that I am grateful for.  Not material things, people things.  I am so thankful to be healthy and robust (uh, that's code for "well-nourished", as my oncologist describes me - drat!)  Everyone is doing well and no one has anything major to crab about, so I say "SCORE!"

My girls are doing well and growing up so pretty and smart - - -  no brag, jest fact! I don't get to see them very much, but I do enjoy it when they come over.   Alec is doing well and participated in a ceiling tile  project at his school.  The kids each got a big ceiling tile and painted it. The tiles will be installed in all the classrooms. .  Al's teacher say she hopes they put his over her table.  His was a scene from one of his favorite short films,  For The Birds.  He did a crazy good job!

Happy to report that sister Judy just published her second children's book  "MACTAVISH AND EMMA RUN AWAY". So, good things are happening all around.

I must mention that sister Sandy is quite a writer, too.  A while back she gave me a copy of something she had written for a class she had taken, just for fun,  It was a lovely story called "THE GIFTING".  It was biographical, telling about a widowed black man who had rented a farm near us, way out in the country, in the middle of winter, with his two little boys.  He was having a tough time, and Christmas was coming.  Mother and Dad had very little themselves, but their hearts went out to those kids, and the folks shifted into high gear.  Dad went to the local implement store and got some free toy tractors that had been used as a display and now the paint was chipped and scratched. He brought them home and painted them up nicely. Mother baked and cooked up a storm.  On Christmas Eve, Mother asked Sandy to help her take the gifts to the young man's house, but leaving them outside on the porch when they both went in and visited for a while, and then left. Sandy couldn't figure out why they couldn't wait for them to discover the presents and have it known that it was our family who had brought them.  Mother told her it was more important to give to someone from your heart and not expect to be thanked.  Sandy never forgot that experience and she, herself has been party to being "Secret Santa Sandy" over the years, giving to those in need but keeping it totally secret who was doing the giving. Uh . . . I guess the secret is out now. 

But this goes to show you what true "gifting" is.  When my parents, who had very little, used their imagination to provide a memorable Christmas for strangers - - -  well, that is the true meaning of Christmas. 

                                                       GOD BLESS YOU ALL 






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    Janene...

    ... was diagnosed with breast cancer on November 11, 2013. This is a place for all of the people who love and care about her to get the information about her treatment and her personal experience of kicking cancer's ass, (sometimes from her daughter's perspective). It's hard to stand by and not be able to do anything to help. Writing gives my mom an outlet and allows both of us to share information during this time. Therefore, we blog :) 

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