The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong in the broken places.
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THE FUTURE IS LOOKING BRIGHTER!

2/28/2014

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"I NEVER LOOK BACK, DARLING. IT DISTRACTS FROM THE NOW"

                                                        Edna "E. Mode from THE INCREDIBLES



Yup, it's time to look forward. Most of the hard stuff has already been done, so it's a good feeling to know that from now on each day is going to get better and better.

I had to laugh at a card that my friend (and former Wal-Mart co-worker) Donna Cross sent me. She was trying to think of some way to help me, so she reminded me that several years ago, she had worked as a "very nice" CNA, and if I didn't mind an almost deaf and blind nurse, she's my girl!  Uh . . .  sounds tempting, Donna, but I think I'll pass this time, my dear. Friends Ken and Jess brought me some beautiful cut flowers last night - huge red roses and two big, round hydrangea blooms. I think they unconsciously thought that  the hydrangeas represented  how my chest will eventually look (perhaps a Freudian slip?). Anyway, it was a beautiful bouquet. Little Ma stopped by yesterday and also brought a gorgeous bouquet of flowers from Nina, Zonna, and herself. And if all that wasn't enough my Sandy R. from Georgia sent a neat card and a necklace with a silver breast cancer ribbon and a silver pendant with HOPE engraved on it. I have also heard from a bunch of you guys and thank you for all the encouragement you're sending my way.  Thank you to Cousin Wendy and family. Everyone is making me think that (as the saying goes) I'm "really all that AND a bag of chips!"         ;)))) I am so darn spoiled.

I am able to use my arms better today. I managed to wash my hair and take a bath without slipping and breaking anything. But FYI, its been VERY hard getting out of the recliner chair where I have been sleeping and spending most of my days. So picture this. At one time or another, I think all of us has seen an oldster kicking their feet and trying to scootch their fannies forward to get up from the seat of a recliner. Well, that's me. On the other hand, getting seated is also a challenge. Because my chest and arms are pretty sore and weak, I turn my back to the chair, put my hands out a little behind me - reaching for the chair arms, and shuffle backwards until I feel the chair touching the back of my legs. Then comes the big decision - do I try to ease my way down into a seated position and hope that I can stand the discomfort, or just fall back and risk ripping some stitches ? Either choice comes with the dilemma that I might not land where I am aiming for. My arms hurt too much to try to pull my butt over and center it on the seat if I do land off target, so it is a case of wiggle and squirm until I feel centered. Whatever!

Another little problem that I have been stewing about for three months is finally picking up speed. Hair loss.  I keep a waste can next to my chair, mainly to have a place to toss all the fallen hairs. I'll bet if any of you came to my house today, you would probably think we have a Golden Retriever dog who is having quite a shedding problem. I can sit perfectly still and watch they fall. "Thar She Blows!" or rather "The Hair - She Goes!"

I'm proud to say that my walking has improved. Jenna said that I looked like a penguin, toddling from side to side. That's what happens when you are doped up and trying to keep you balance. I finally figured out why I kept holding my arms out away from my side. When I took my bath today, I saw that the drains are on my sides, right under the armpits and it kinda hurts to hold my arms close to my body. Actually, after seeing all the work that was done, I am amazed at how few scars I will have and what a tidy job it turned out to be. I'm pretty sure that the surgeons glued the incisions together (like they did when they put in the Power Port). I will be getting the final reconstruction done in three months. I'm still not absolutely sure if my oncologist said I would have to have three more sessions of chemo or not. I do know that I won't be having radiation.

NOTE: On a sad note, I saw in the obits that my writing instructor, Carol Ballard, passed away. I had contacted her to have her final-edit some of my children's stories. Very sorry for her family.

Well, tomorrow is going to be a better day, so I look forward to that.

                                                          GOD BLESS YOU ALL











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    Janene...

    ... was diagnosed with breast cancer on November 11, 2013. This is a place for all of the people who love and care about her to get the information about her treatment and her personal experience of kicking cancer's ass, (sometimes from her daughter's perspective). It's hard to stand by and not be able to do anything to help. Writing gives my mom an outlet and allows both of us to share information during this time. Therefore, we blog :) 

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