STARTING SOMETHING NEW OR MAKING A BIG CHANGE REQUIRES EFFORT, PERSISTENCE, AND MOTIVATIONS . . . DOUBT, FEAR & WORRY WILL ONLY SLOW YOU DOWN. FOCUS ON DOING YOUR BEST NOW & CELEBRATE EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
Doe Zantamata
Okay. So far this is what has happened. Hubby and I went to the oncologist yesterday. Yup, my Wednesday did arrive! Anyhoo, my regular wonderful doctor, Dr.Ghosh was unavailable, and my Mindy was booked solid. Remember that they are squeezing me into their schedule, because they have a lot of patients who already had appointments. Dr. H. is nice, but I feel lonely without the people I have worked with for the last 4 1/2 years.
Dr. H. said my diagnosis is metastatic ductal carcinoma. Cancer, folks, cancer. He wanted to start chemo right after my appointment yesterday, saying that they would just pump it into one of my "fat" veins. Jeeze, even my veins are large. But I opted for getting a port put in which is scheduled for Monday. It will be so much more convenient than maybe wrecking my veins. A port does feel funky, sitting right under the skin up by my collarbone. But it's worth going this route.
There was one funny moment, when a Tech was talking to me in the hallway. He was getting ready to take a blood sample. He kept pronouncing my name wrong. Janaye. Jeananne. Jane Ann. Finally, Terry, the wonderful receptionist leaned over the counter in the entryway and hollered down the hall "It's JANENE! SHE"S JANEEENE!" Gotta love her. She's always been in my corner, too.
Tuesday, I will meet with Mindy and go over chemo therapy information. I guess that's needed because this is going to be a different kind of chemo than previously used on me. It's probably just procedure, "cause "this ain't my first rodeo", if ya know what I mean. "I've read this book before."
You do realize that I will be losing my hair AGAIN! crap crap crap. I was thinking this morning about my eyebrows. A few weeks ago I went to the beauty shop and had my brows waxed and shaped. The girl did an awful mess of it. Last week I went back in to ask if they could possibly fix them somehow.
The girl said "Sure!". As she worked on my, I realized that it was the SAME one that had done the bad job originally. She had just dyed her hair bright red, and I didn't recognize her. Well, she tried. I still wasn't happy with the outcome, but what the heck. Now, I think how silly I was worrying about a bad brow wax situation was. In a few weeks, I won't have any brows at all. Or eyelashes. Or any hair!! If it were possible for me to run (considering my leg pain problem) I would probably be aero-dynamic!
As I recall, the first time around with chemo, I was told that my hair would probably be gone 14 days after the first session. I think I held onto most of it for 2 to 3 months! I was lucky. This time, I'll probably cut it really short before that. It was a real pain losing hair all over the place. I couldn't wear a black top, because I would look like I was wearing a small, blonde animal riding around on my back. You get the picture.
In November of 2013. my dear daughter, Jenna, started this cancer blog to keep people informed as to how things were going. After months (and years) of getting things back to normal, I segued the posts into a form of "Seinfeld" information. You know, making a big deal about absolutely nothing concerning our lives. Now, we are back where we started. A cancer blog. So be it. I am coming to terms with this.
It is kinda funny to go back and read some of the posts over the years. Yipes! I forgot how I meandered and talked about weird stuff. I don't even remember writing some of it. I kept forgetting that others were reading it. It became a diary of sorts.
The title of today's post is "I LIED".
Yes, I did. Before going to the doctor yesterday, I cried. I know I promised that I wouldn't, but I did. Just a little. In the bathroom. By myself. So it's okay. Right?
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Doe Zantamata
Okay. So far this is what has happened. Hubby and I went to the oncologist yesterday. Yup, my Wednesday did arrive! Anyhoo, my regular wonderful doctor, Dr.Ghosh was unavailable, and my Mindy was booked solid. Remember that they are squeezing me into their schedule, because they have a lot of patients who already had appointments. Dr. H. is nice, but I feel lonely without the people I have worked with for the last 4 1/2 years.
Dr. H. said my diagnosis is metastatic ductal carcinoma. Cancer, folks, cancer. He wanted to start chemo right after my appointment yesterday, saying that they would just pump it into one of my "fat" veins. Jeeze, even my veins are large. But I opted for getting a port put in which is scheduled for Monday. It will be so much more convenient than maybe wrecking my veins. A port does feel funky, sitting right under the skin up by my collarbone. But it's worth going this route.
There was one funny moment, when a Tech was talking to me in the hallway. He was getting ready to take a blood sample. He kept pronouncing my name wrong. Janaye. Jeananne. Jane Ann. Finally, Terry, the wonderful receptionist leaned over the counter in the entryway and hollered down the hall "It's JANENE! SHE"S JANEEENE!" Gotta love her. She's always been in my corner, too.
Tuesday, I will meet with Mindy and go over chemo therapy information. I guess that's needed because this is going to be a different kind of chemo than previously used on me. It's probably just procedure, "cause "this ain't my first rodeo", if ya know what I mean. "I've read this book before."
You do realize that I will be losing my hair AGAIN! crap crap crap. I was thinking this morning about my eyebrows. A few weeks ago I went to the beauty shop and had my brows waxed and shaped. The girl did an awful mess of it. Last week I went back in to ask if they could possibly fix them somehow.
The girl said "Sure!". As she worked on my, I realized that it was the SAME one that had done the bad job originally. She had just dyed her hair bright red, and I didn't recognize her. Well, she tried. I still wasn't happy with the outcome, but what the heck. Now, I think how silly I was worrying about a bad brow wax situation was. In a few weeks, I won't have any brows at all. Or eyelashes. Or any hair!! If it were possible for me to run (considering my leg pain problem) I would probably be aero-dynamic!
As I recall, the first time around with chemo, I was told that my hair would probably be gone 14 days after the first session. I think I held onto most of it for 2 to 3 months! I was lucky. This time, I'll probably cut it really short before that. It was a real pain losing hair all over the place. I couldn't wear a black top, because I would look like I was wearing a small, blonde animal riding around on my back. You get the picture.
In November of 2013. my dear daughter, Jenna, started this cancer blog to keep people informed as to how things were going. After months (and years) of getting things back to normal, I segued the posts into a form of "Seinfeld" information. You know, making a big deal about absolutely nothing concerning our lives. Now, we are back where we started. A cancer blog. So be it. I am coming to terms with this.
It is kinda funny to go back and read some of the posts over the years. Yipes! I forgot how I meandered and talked about weird stuff. I don't even remember writing some of it. I kept forgetting that others were reading it. It became a diary of sorts.
The title of today's post is "I LIED".
Yes, I did. Before going to the doctor yesterday, I cried. I know I promised that I wouldn't, but I did. Just a little. In the bathroom. By myself. So it's okay. Right?
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
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